Mixed messaging

Can someone explain to me how there are 9 views of my resume that I have posted on Monster? I want to know who is clicking on it...but then again, considering the responses I've gotten so far, maybe I don't. :/

Duality

I'm caught between two parts of myself: the part that feels the full weight of my obligations and the gravity of my situation as an adult with a family that I need to take care of, and the part that wants a change...the part that, if it could convince the rational centers of my brain to play along, would happily walk into the management offices tomorrow shooting double birdies, so to speak. I'm becoming impatient for the next step, for that golden opportunity to present itself, and it is causing me to be fraught with impatience and anxiety. I see my workload increasing by leaps and bounds - and to make matters worse, there is no consistancy to the levels of work: the projects and tasks are either decidedly clerical (scheduling meetings and filing my managers paperwork, ffs) or the type of work that people well above my level are doing. Instead of feeling like I can have an open dialogue, attempts to broach the topic of getting a better sense of just what my role is are met with "You should feel lucky to have a job", or "We just gave you an increase, what's the problem?", or are, on occassion, outright ignored. This is leading to a certain level of frustration, and my willingness to continue to be understanding of the situation is decreasing at a accelerating pace, along with my motivation and my drive to make any effort whatsoever.

I've started compiling the resources that will come in handy during the upcoming first wave of a very intense networking blitz. I'm thrilled by the prospect of seeing if I get any responses, and at the same time there's an almost overwhelming sense of near terror. What if I get nothing back? Will that mean I'm less marketable than I thought? Less employable, even? Then, of course, there's the fact that I'm really bad at dealing with change. I've lived in the same house, in the same town, for the majority of my life. This is what is known to me - it is comfortable and safe. It is, at the same time, stagnant and camplacent. Here I am, at age 32, with a decent (if aggravating) job that I could easily just coast in practically forver, it feels like, a nice little house that we've put some work into (but needs just a little bit more), a stable and fairly happy family life, and some wonderful friends...and I'm stuck at what what feels like either the proverbial crossoroads or a metaphorical precipice. The next step I take determines the course of my future - and that of my family. I have to make an honest assessment of our collective needs, balance them against our individual wants (which are rather extensive and weighty), and compare the potential outcome scenarios against the prevailing realities of the choices available.

So. My question is - what would YOU do, if you were me (or, better yet if it were YOU)? Take that first step on the easy path you've walked a hundred times, or risk the heart-stopping freefall off the cliff to whatever awaits?

cacaphony!

I never watch Good Morning America & this morning I'm remided why...you've got Al Roker shouting, people blowing whistles, Willard Scott being rambly and strange, and some of the most banal and pointless fluff stories ever to air on a morning "news" program. And, hey, Today show has David Duchovny on.

Okay, so I turned it back over to GMA in time for their pet adoption segment. At the end of the piece, one of the dogs got a little bit...over excited. I'm sure you can guess what the result was. Good for a cheap laugh, at least.