A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.

Tonight was spend time catching up with friends night. M and I went over to the local mall (I know, I know - you're thinking "B-b-but...you hate the mall!"). But it was nice. Really. We had Starbucks frappuchinos - real Starbucks, not that faux B&N cafe crap! I got some tops for work (since, while I may not be too fond of the mall, I can never pass up a sale), we found a new costume jewelry store to rival the Claire's franchises, and I bought a couple of books since my copy of The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse hasn't arrived yet. No - I don't really need more books, since I'm always pawning my paperbacks off on one person or another so that piles don't take over every flat surface in my house (I rarely feed my voracious appetite with literature in hardcover, unless it's a first run and I really must have it). I got a Tess Gerritson book that is one of a series I found myself unintentionally reading backwards. It's the literary equivalent of a time machine. But much less useful than an actual time machine would be. M and I also bought the same Douglas Preston/Lincoln Child book, which seems silly when you figure I could have gotten it and loaned her mine when I was done reading it...but, as she said, we don't know if we're going to see each other anytime soon. Living in different cities and having all these "grown-up" responsibilites sometimes makes maintaining long-distance friendships a challenge. We have started making more plans to spend time together, since it looks like Miami isn't going to be a go this year. There are a couple of movies that we are talking about seeing. Stardust is the big one. Maybe The Golden Compass. And maybe a show or two later in the year, depending on who's coming to town. One thing's for sure - Sbarro has some good pizza. Their garlic bread sticks could use some cheese in the middle, though. You know what I miss? The Steak Escape. They had great cheesesteak sandwiches (I'm from PA, but not Philly, so I just call them either "steak sandwich" or "cheesesteak", and if you ever try to tell me that cheeze whiz belongs on an authentic cheesesteak I'm going to have to punch you in the face), and delicious fries, which were wonderful with malt vinegar, ketchup and lots of salt - and were fried in peanut oil before "healthy fast food" went from just an oxymoronic trend to dining requisite.

I watched Reign of Fire last night (again!), so for those awaiting the next Batman movie with baited breath and bells on, here's a little something for you...I'm such a tease.



M - please send me a text or an e-mail to let me know you found your way to downtown, and you made it home safely, m'kay?

Just when you thought it was safe...

...to go back to a Harry Potter-free internet. Ha - not so fast. **Spoilers!** Here's J.K. Rowling clearing up some enduring mysteries even after the damnable epilogue at the end of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, from her Today show interview that I forgot to DVR this morning. And, she's thinking of writing a Potter Ecyclopedia. An interesting discussion of the book can be found *here*, and another one *here*. There's some wacky rumor circulating that Naomi Watts has been picked to play Narcissa Malfoy in the next HP movie. It's been announced, and then just as quickly denied. So, just remember kids - the books may be done, but there are still two more movies in the works, so that's enough to keep the fan-girls and boys up to their eyeballs in everything Potter for the next couple of years. And JKR raking in the dough in perpetuity. But you know what - she killed off one of my two favorite Weasleys, and left the other one with only one ear and no freaking mention in the damnable epilogue. All the while leaving the infuriating Ron, irritating Ginny, mostly useless Percy and completely pointless Charlie very much alive and well. For that she will never be forgiven. Never!!

...We now return to your regularly scheduled non-Potter post topics. Enjoy!

Movie news: Indiana Jones...uh, what is this, IV? Yeah. Well - only one thing can cancel out the giant gaseous ball of suck that is Shia LaBeouf (and I can't believe I spelled his name correctly on the first try) in the absence of Sir Sean and make this thing work. And to be filed under "wtf", in confounding casting news: how does a smarmy post-rehab Robbie Williams as Capt. James. T.(iberious) Kirk. sound to you? Yeah, me too...

If there'd be singing, though, he's your man, I guess (WARNING for my readers of the underage, overly sensitive and/or Mormon persuasions: there are mild-to-racy reinactments of sexy time in the video below. Avert your eyes, children!):



This leads us to...

Music news: People of the world - spice up your racks!

Good lord! Look at Victoria Beckham! Those things affect the tides, I swear! Why does "Posh" always look constipated? I didn't think robots had to worry about the regularity of their bowels...or even worried about having bowels at all, really. Geri resembles an erstwhile reincarnation of Strawberry Shortcake, and apparently didn't get the memo about the color theme. It's like high school, all over again, isn't it, Ginger? The two Melanies look decent...ish, and Emma, the Spice Girl formerly known as "Baby", is by far still my favorite. I mean...if I had to pick a favorite. At gun point, under threat of bodily harm. Read more about the reunion that nobody asked for but we get to suffer through anyway!

A miserable pile of secrets

Being excluded sucks. I know this first hand. And now so does my co-worker. Our departing colleague is having a reception thrown for him, which was apparently by invitation only, and was supposed to be a surprise. I'm not sure how our other co-worker found out, but she asked me why she didn't get an invitation, and since at the time I thought this might have been an open reception I gave her a number to call to rsvp. Well - when she called she was told her name hadn't been on the list of the invited, and that was why she never received an invitation. Christ on a tightrope, you should have seen how bent out of shape she got. So, not only did Co-worker Barbie's™ feelings get hurt, my other co-worker had to be told about his formerly surprise goodbye party.

The other glaring example of the fact that secrets just cause more harm than good - again, from today - is that I guess no one has bothered to clue some of our staff (me included) into the grand plan for this reorganization that's upcoming. So, speculation and rumors are flying, and there are some rather unhappy employees who have more questions than answers. I was told to give them all reassurances in our planned peon meeting tomorrow...but...isn't that their supervisor's job? I have enough work for two or three people, there aren't enough hours in the day, I get more and more projects on my desk every time I turn around, my morale is low and my frustration is high, I'm being completely left out of the loop, and you want me to reassure the staff?! When the hell is someone going to give me some damn reassurance?

Besides - we all know it's going to go down like this:

And then this will be the end result:

Happiness is a new book.

You can tell it's a Maus 'shop because of the incongruous capitalization.

It's missing my notorious extra commas and misused apostraphes, though, so it could be a fake.

I spent the early part of the day pacing around and being utterly pissed at Amazon. The book didn't get delivered until after 4:30 pm, and my husband told the UPS guy how happy he'd just made me. The UPS guy said if he'd known he would have made it one of his early deliveries. Sooo...you mean to tell me I could have been halfway finished with the book by now? And Publix had a big display of them when we went grocery shopping this morning. It took a lot of restraint not to buy a second copy to start reading right away. I told you I am not a patient person. I'll update this post later to give impressions and opinions (this is mostly for M, although we'll be discussing this stuff at length next week, oui?). No details on the blog, though. I wouldn't want to be one of those people.

Update #1: This ish is intense. I almost cried a little.

Update # 2: I found the epilogue kind of annoying. And I feel like it sets up a whole series of "Further Adventures at Hogwarts School for Witches and Wizards" books.

Update #3: Daniel Radcliffe is 18 today. And there is great rejoicing!

Time is Galleons

Londoners already have their copies of book seven (link is CNN certified spoiler free!). There are countless celebrations and "Potter Parties" happening all over the United sates (and yes, the world) heralding the sale of the final chapter of the Harry Potter story. According to my Amazon account, my book is now in my county of residence, mere hours away from being delivered to my house. Oh yes, I've got a fever...but not as badly as these people. My case is mild by comparison - those folks are terminal. From a story in one of my local papers: "...if you forgot to reserve a copy, don't worry -- area bookstores say they have more than enough for everyone and expect their stocks to last through the weekend. Area bookstores said customers who have not reserved copies should expect to wait in line until 1 a.m. or 2 a.m."...to which I laugh and say, eff that! M and I thought - briefly - about attending one of the local events, but I'll be damned if I'm standing in line until 2 a.m. I feel like tucking in as it is.

News on the book promotions front (as if this books needs any more press...): "In her only television interview after the highly anticipated release of the seventh and final installment in the Harry Potter series, author J.K. Rowling will sit down with NBC's Meredith Vieira in Edinburgh, Scotland, to discuss the conclusion of her series for the first time.
Tune in to TODAY on Thursday, July 26, and Friday, July 27, to see the interview."

BTW - apparently, Daniel Radcliffe thinks Harry dies. Although, I have to question why I should listen to anyone with a haircut like he's sporting in the video posted with the article. I'm not even going to mention the matching animal print shirt and tie. I'm going to try to erase them from my memory banks now. Along with that cheap, garish set design. WTF - did they make a late night run to Wal-Mart and gather up a bunch of leftover Halloween junk and throw it together pell-mell? Severe over use of lighting gels, people! It looks like shite. I detest the Today show...and odd matchy-matchy shirt/tie combos. And poor production values. And yet...Daniel Radcliffe's accent. *Le sigh* I'm tempted to re-post that video from Extras where he's trying to tag a cougar. But then I do a Google image search and see on the search results stills from the first Harry Potter movie where he was almost still a baby (eleven years old!), and those promotional shots for Equus (full frontal nudity!?). Ew.

So. Abruput change of subject! According to the Sorting Hat I belong in Ravenclaw: "Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw, if you've a ready mind, where those of wit and learning, will always find their kind." So, yeah. Ravenclaw. {walks away whistling and trying not to feel all pervy}

Okay, once I've read the book and some of the shine has worn off, I'll be posting about something other than Harry Potter. Soon. I promise!

One does not simply 'Apparate' into Hogwarts!

EDIT: The New York Times has published the first review of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Warning: here there be not-quite-spoilers, but broad references to events in the book - the ending is not revealed, but if you want everything to be a surprise, do not read the linked article. Apparently, J.K. Rowling is not very happy about the early reviews...not because they're critical of the book, but because they're way freaking early and giving away hints! On a side note (and speaking of giving things away), Boing Boing has an article with links to the torrent sites where the digital camera images are available (I still don't understand why they took pictures of the pages, instead of scanning them...?), and a story was posted in Times Online about how metadata on the digital images might lead to the individual responsible for releasing the images...if they aren't smart enough to have altered it.

If you're into movie spoilers , you can always get a fix by visiting:

The Movie Spoiler

Ruined Endings

It's things like *this* that have me avoiding certain sites on the intertubes for a little while. At least until I've read my copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. So - bandwagon jumping time, ya'll! CNN has posted the story, as well, with the URL's of two of the sites that posted early "spoilers" (that were about as accurate as theories I've bandied about with friends and on this very blog - trust me I read them) and now Time has a short blurb on their website. J.K. Rowling posted a statement on her official website asking people not to post "spoilers" and fans to ignore anything that may show up online, and many of the fan sites are promising to not allow spoilers to get through to the casual site visitor. I seriously hope Amazon is on the ball with shipping these things out. I want my copy in my hands post haste.

The B&N up the street is selling Hallows at a slight discount, but you have to be a "member" to really see a good price cut like you're seeing with other retailers, which seem to be banking on sheer volume, and the sale of other merchandise at full price, to balance out the discounts. It IS all about making money, after all. As my husband likes to remind me, B&N is "eeeviiillll". Of course, he thinks Disney is evil, too. So take his opinion for whatever it's worth.

I had a acquaintance call me a super-geek yesterday after I told him about sitting in a car talking about Harry Potter for an hour and a half on Saturday night. I had a few choice words for him in return. Hippie. Drunkard. Lag-about. Then I chased him out of my office screaming "MADNESS? This is HOGWAAAARTS!" So, you know. I was my usual calm and collected self...

And just to prove that I'm not nearly as crazy as a lot of people, here's a story about a lady who decided to beat and choke another lady over their places in the line for Disney World's Mad Tea Party Tea Cup ride (How appropriate! I'm dubbing this "ride rage" - feel free to use as you please in the appropriate context). Grandma is hard core - don't make her have to choke a b!tch.

As the asphalt burns...

...like numbers on a thermostat, so are the hot, sweltery, humidity filled days of our lives.

I think I may have beaten back the malaise that marked the beginning of my week. It helps that I just had a Fauxbucks caramelmaccachiniatto. Or whatever that coffee beverage full of caffeine and sugar was that I pretty much chugged. Plus the two "diet" pills I had around breakfast time that have about 1000% of my RDA of vitamins B and E, and various other stuff. In other words - I'm seriously tweeking, dudes. But it's a good sort of tweek. I got an invitation to dinner on Saturday night from someone I haven't seen in over a year, so that's fun. Hopefully I'll be able to go. For some reason my social calendar is filling out this summer. But in awkward fits and starts, like it's going through puberty. Next thing you know, it'll be spending large amounts of time moping in its room and telling me how much it hates me.

I've avoided doing anything of real susbstance at work for the last two days. Don't ask me why. I just don't feel like it, I guess. I'm working down to everyone else's level. There's so much going on to make me feel kind of frustrated and discouraged, I'm finding it hard to concentrate on pretty much anything. And it's summer, which causes me to think about all of the things I would rather be doing. Instead, I am adding fuel to a raging online flame-war centered around Iraq, but is actually more about personal politics and religious ideals. Since it takes very little thought to engage the "We're fighting "them" over there to avoid having to fight "them" here...and anyone who disagrees with the idea that the War on Terror is anything but the greatest idea ever in the history of the world planned out by the greatest World Leader the Universe has ever seen is a traitor and should have their citizenship revoked effective immediatly" crowd on this local forum I decided to join. These are the same people who think that only Arabic nations are home to Muslims, and that every Muslim/Person of Middle Eastern Descent is a "terrorist". They hold their conservativism like a badge of honor that somehow makes them most American above all others. They think they are the true patriots, because they believe everything that the government tells them to believe. And they seem to think that the Constitutional right to free speech only applies to their skewed world-view. So, I debate strangers on the internet. One of the most futile endeavors known to modern man.

Extruded Plastic Dingus!

I miss this show...this is better than almost anything on tv now.

Defense Against the Dork Arts

I was going to go ultra-geek and compose a Harry Potter themed post after M and I go and see Order of the Phoenix tomorrow evening, but I got a little antsy and decided to do it earlier. We're also mulling over the possibility of attending a themed book-sale party at the B&N bookstore on the corner by where I work in downtown, but I'm on the fence. Being stuck in a very small space surrounded by Potterphiles - many of whom might decide to go in costume - until midnight? I'll have to think about it. Besides - if I don't have a babysitter, it's not something I'd want to drag my son to.

As anyone who has been alive in the last ten years knows, there are countless websites devoted to J.K. Rowling's books - the themes, the symbolism, and the development of the characters themselves. J.K. herself (or Jo, as some of the fans call her...but not me) has a site where you can find a lot of information about the author and her inspiration for the books, as well as hidden goodies and answers to questions. There is the UK site for the Warner Brothers release of Phoenix, which I like a lot, as well as the US site for the release (check out the Dark Mark section for some desktop wall papers and I had fun with the 20Q game in the Daily Prophet section - it guessed what I was thinking in 16 questions). MSN also has a section of their website devoted not only to Phoenix, but links to information on the previous movies, as well. Scholastic has a section of their website devoted to the whole book series.
And that brings us to the fan sites. There are too many to list here, so I'll stick to the most user-friendly and most popular of the lot (most of these are highlighted in the fan site area of Rowling's website, as well). The first two are The Leaky Cauldron and Mugglenet. Both are great resources for main-stream news stories about the Harry Potter movies and books, on one site. There is also the Harry Potter Automatic News Aggregator, and Veritaserum, but I can't say I'm much of a fan of the layouts of both of those. One of my favorite sites is The Harry Potter Lexicon (also known just as "The Lexicon"). It may not look like much at first, but it's a great resource for all things related to the Harry Potter world. There's a spell encyclopedia, a beastiary, pages of information about famous wizards and witches and a visitor's guide to Hogwarts. Immeritus is for fan-girls with a serious thing for Sirius Black. I'm a Remus Lupin chick, myself, but you don't see me going around making a website for that! Although I did find a tidbit from there that said producers are casting for the characters of Lavendar Brown and Tom Riddle for the next movie - and in the latter case, different actors to play He-Who-Would-Be-Voldemort at different ages, if they stick to the timeline of the book. Another site I found that was very helpful in navigating J.K. Rowling's website was Potters Keys - I would never have been able to open the door to the Room of Requirement without some of the helpful tips located there. And of course, as with everything now, there's a Wikipedia page, and a Harry Potter Wiki, as well (and, no - they are not the same thing!). There's another interesting fan site devoted to breaking down the possible meanings of the names Rowling devised for the characters. The fan site Harry Potter Facts is full of information and a lot of speculation, but don't go there unless you are okay with possible spoilers and a lot of red herrings - not only about what is to come, but also about some things that have been. Last, but certainly not least, assert that you are fighting for the just cause by joining Dumbledore's Army.

And if you haven't already, read the books! They aren't "just for kids", especially once you get to Prisoner of Azkaban (so far my - and M's - favorite of the series). The movies aren't bad, although a lot of "filler" has to get cut to pare the storyline down, and sometimes little things get lost in the translation - of course this happens in all book-to-film adapatations, so it's to be expected. The acting has improved and the overall pace of the movies has picked up, even as the plot has gotten progressively darker and more "adult". I expect there will be an update to this post sometime on Sunday after I've seen Phoenix - it looks promising, and most of the reviews have been pretty good. Entertainment Weekly has an "Ultimate Potter Wiki" on their site...as well as something I need - a guide on how to handle your strange Daniel Radcliffe crush. And in my case, I do need help. I can't go having inappropriate reactions to underage actors. It's creepy. I need a support group.

But if you missed Daniel on Jay Leno the other night (like I did), this one's for you:



And then there's this (creepy factor = 10.5)



UPDATE: He turns 18 on July 23rd. We can all breathe a sigh of relief. I just pre-ordered Deathly Hallows from Amazon today. And I plan on avoiding the internet next weekend - entirely. M and I enjoyed Phoenix - I liked it better than any of the films so far. The acting has improved tremendously, much of the dialogue seemed more natural and less stilted, Imelda Staunton (did I just mangle her name - I think I did...) was nearly perfect as Umbridge, and some of the scenes were just...I don't have words for it. I caught myself holding my breath a couple of times. The opening sequences were very unexpected, and the flashbacks were a welcome surprise. After the movie, M and I sat and talked about the differences between the book and the movie (and our various theories about R.A.B., what are the final horcruxes, and about a hundred other little mysteries from the first six books) for about an hour and a half on Saturday night. It's kind of weird that I got into the series so late, and now it's almost at an end.

If your species has a future clap your hands

Well, well, well. It looks like the Hemingway cats are safe from the USDA's requirement that a special license be sought as part of their "exhibition" at the Hemingway House in Key West. (You can sometimes spot the cats on the live cam...but mostly you'll just see tourists, and they're not nearly as interesting and cute)

And scientists found a nicely preserved specimen of a roughly 10,000 year old frozen mammoth in Siberia, and want to try to clone it, or make some weird, mutant-hybrid Mamophant. Wait. Didn't they recently make a bad B-grade made-for-tv horror movie based on this exact scenario? (the tag-line is "We hunted it into extinction...Now it's hunting us" -- dramatic underscore!) The Geico caveman thinks you should thaw that baby out and throw it on the grill.

Arguing on the internet -

- it really is like winning the Special Olympics.

Or so the saying goes. Or is it "running in the Special Olympics"? Something like that, anyway. The punch line is "either way, you're still retarded". I'm currently embroiled in a battle of words with a couple of people on another forum. It came about because there was a lot of bigotry against a Muslim person who had commented, and some name calling and general ugliness under the guise of "patriotism" and "supporting the troops". These people were hiding their bigotries behind a popular cause that people don't like to question...so, I called a spade a spade. And I was called a hypocrit. Which was a pretty lame insult to lob at me, since it's is not something I will ever deny being. Very few of my admittedly very strong viewpoints is ever simply black and white, so sometimes I'm contradictory. But, you know what? I am a firm believer in every American's constitutionally granted freedoms, and their right to abuse them. So, I may not agree with you being a loudmouth, xenophobic jackass, but I will defend to the death your right to make ass-backwards, bigoted statements on a public message board. Just don't expect me to sit idly by watching you try to bully people into not disagreeing with you. Thinking that we're in the middle of a losing "war" (or military occupation) for all of the wrong reasons does not mean I am a "traitor"...it means that one of my constitutional rights is to not unquestionably agree with everything the government does or tells me to believe. And please stop perpetuating the image of the ugly American - you're playing right into the stereotype, and it's embarassing to every rational person who comes in contact with you.

A lack of thinking on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.

To the member of the staff who decided to point her employee in my direction rather than put her foot down on this issue or 'fess up to her mistake: You have made an enemy. Prepare to meet your doom. The first mistake was lying to me when I called you to tell you that employees are not to contact me directly about payroll issues. I'm not the dumb one here, so be very careful what you say. You and the employee who called me were making very contradictory claims. Do not make statements that you are in absolutely no position to make a reality. I was very clear about my expectations, and pretty upfront about the fact that I would not be making corrections for employee or supervisor error. This instance was one or the other, and it really doesn't matter which. It all boils down to the fact that he didn't get paid, and was pretty pissed about it. It wasn't cool that I had to be put in the position of telling him he was not going to get a check until next week, at the earliest. It was also very bad, for all involved, that he rudely hung up the phone after I politley explained that this was an issue between him and the supervisor and I wasn't going to be able to get him a check today as he seemed to expect, no matter what happened. The system just does not work that way. This whole situation of that department pawning work off on me is getting ridiculous - it's time for people to start to carry their own weight. My patience is wearing perilously thin.

As an added bonus to that lovely exchange, we were notified that there will be budget cuts. The boss is out of the office until Monday, so I'm spared the hand-wrenching and dramatics until then. Hopefully, it won't be too bad for us. Somehow, that seems doubtful, however.

My co-worker is bored because the boss is gone and she doesn't have any work. Wow. Sucks to be you. Let me rush right out and buy a cake so that we can throw you a pity party. If you think you're over-educated and underutilized in your job, can you imagine what the hordes of people who pause in front of the wide-open door to wait for the elevator must think when they see you doing...well, the not very much of anything of real value that you do. For eight hours a day. It boggles the mind.

Hai. I need...

...Plzkthx!

Can't Get No...

...No no no. Yes. This song was featured in Casino. I love Devo.



I've been trying to find this video for years. I first saw this on MTV Europe in the mid-90's when I got to go to Germany as a teenager. I never saw it aired on MTV here, and it's driven me nuts for the longest time. This was the same time frame as Bjork's post-Sugarcubes album, so the video for Human Behavior was also on very heavy rotation and where I first became a fan of the crazy Icelandic hobbit. I think I need to post more Bjork...

The Pet Shop Boys:



This one is from a soundtrack for a movie I have never seen. But I like the song:



What? You thought I'd post Human Behavior or Army of Me? That would have been pretty predictable, I agree. I like to mix it up. Of course, Bjork is kind of an acquired taste, I think. You either like her music, or you can't stand it at all - no grey area there.

Dear writers and editors of this local paper...

I realize that there may be nothing much going on over there across the bridge. But listing a definite lack of tropical activity as breaking news on your website? It's like saying there's so little happening that we're forced to report on how little is happening. Where's a good drug-related late night shooting when you need one?! I know that around these parts hurricane season usually has everyone on pins and needles, but it's not like there aren't other issues to be reported on. The President commuting the sentence of a member of his posse, for instance. Oh, the douchebaggery!

So this is the state of our judicial system, hmmmm? Anarchy, anyone? Anyone...?

Well, at least this gives us a little break from Paris Hilton's reformation campaign...*SIGH*

Anyway. Last night we went out to dinner at the local Lube restaurant. We were supposed to meet someone there, but they got...*ahem* distracted *ahem*...and never showed. It was free games for the kids night, but they weren't very crowded - and the service still sucked. My son wanted to play the "lobster" game, which is like a claw machine, only with live lobsters in a tank. Which always reminds of of that one scene in "Toy Story"...and seems kind of cruel. I won him a little Spiderman doll through my superior skills at shooting a small ball at some targets - think Skee-Ball, except with a more pin-ball like concept (it ended up costing me $4 to get that damn toy!). The plans for the holiday tomorrow include sleeping in (yayyy!), lounging by the pool (oh, yeah!) and housework (boo! hiss!). Everyone have a safe and happy holiday commemerating our nation's independence!

Photo courtesy of Time Magazine's photo of the week via CNN.com

The redneck neighbors have decided to start the drinkin' and 'splodin' a wee bit early this year, it seems....

"Tell me if this sounds like a phone hanging up..."

I can't believe how my co-worker talks to her parents on the phone. Well, maybe not so much parents plural as her father, but still - I'm pretty sure that if I made demands and used the tone of voice she's using (not to mention pleading poverty and whining about how she works full time and goes to school full time...'scuse me while I adjust my violin to play a mournful dirge for you, Princess) I'd be hearing a dial tone pretty quick. And I don't think that at her age I was calling my parents to help me with every situation and scenario known to man, especially since I didn't live at home any more - and neither does she. And she's hinting around that her boyfriend doesn't make enough money to suit her needs. Wow. It's time for someone to learn to use her big-girl voice and develop some coping mechanisms. In other words...grow up.

I spent this morning massaging data and molding raw figures into usable projections models. It's still not what the administrators want to see, I'm sure. We'd all feel much better not seeing a rolling deficit for the next five years. But I'd like to not skew the data so far to the bright-shiny-everything's-wonderful-nothing-to-see-here side that I'm scrambling to pull justifications out of my rear end when the mother ship is screaming for explanations about why our projections were so far off base from reality - as will ultimately happen. And I still don't quite know what my role is. It's frustrating that I'm kept in the dark about so many decisions being made that affect the bottom line, but the minute someone wants to know where the money is, they're hovering in my doorway with that gleam in their eyes. You can believe I'm useful to them then!

This week's motto: If you torture the data long enough it'll confess to anything you want.
























Bonus motto for the month of July: It's amazing how much easier it is for a team to work together when no one has any idea where they're going.

M - we've got crazy people applying for a job in this office. Lord. Have. Mercy!