Idle Blog's shiny new year

So, what did Santa bring you this year? I got both of the cd's I wanted, plus the new Ok Go album as a bonus, the second Invader Zim dvd (I had disc 1 & 3 - #2 was a little harder to come by), some lotions, and the two books I asked for (finished most of the first one on Christmas day...), all from my husband. My in-laws got me some stuff...some pretty good, some that had me scratching my head with wonder at how they pick out gifts (apparently, even after more than ten years of knowing me, they still haven't figured out that I'm not into tchotchkes and other dust collecting baubels, and they gave us a set of plastic picture frames, too...?). But it's the thought that counts. Right? We spent Christmas day at my husband's grandparents' house on a branch of the Withlacoochee river. It rained for part of the day, but when it cleared up some of us attempted to fish (with varying degrees of success), and my husband made a fire in the fire pit. We go see my parents this weekend. Having to split the holidays between two families can sometimes be kind of hectic, but it reminds me to be grateful that I have so many wonderful people in my life that I can't find time to see them all on one holiday. Besides - it prolongs the gift-giving experience.

It's that time, again. Resolutions are upon us. Personally, I never make any... but if I did, they'd be: to start going to the gym regularly (again); be early for work every day (like that's going to happen, anyway...); and review my budget to see where we can save money (and save the money). I'm actually looking forward to New Years Eve this year. Previous years were spent hanging out at home waiting for the ball to drop, which is fine by me - it's comfy, and you avoid all of the after-party drunks on the roads. But since we were granted a four day weekend coming up, I will be ringing in 2007 by running around one of the local coasterland theme parks (the one owned by the beer company), thanks to my husband's affiliation with one of the local radio stations. Sometimes his hobbies actually come with unanticipated perks!

Best wishes to you and yours for a safe and wonderful new year!

Hark hear the bells, sweet silver bells, all seem to say, ding dong mkay...

I challenge you to not have a seizure while watching this...

I'm dreaming of a wet Christmas

Just to give you a feel for the current environment: I am sitting here in the semi-darkness, typing by the lovely glow cast by the illuminated Solstice tree, eating Pringles chips with french onion dip while my son stays up well past his bedtime watching the old Rankin/Bass special Santa Clause Is Coming To Town in the living room.

Today marks the first of five days off for the holiday. I finished up my shopping. The goal was to find "two small schoolbuses" for my son, since this is what he told Santa *nudge nudge, wink wink* he wanted for Christmas. So, mission accomplished. It's supposed to be warm and rainy for pretty much the next three days, right through Christmas day. Not very festive, is it?

We had scheduled what was originally only supposed to be a physical for my son's pre-k school records, but the doctor noted that since he starts kindergarten next year that doing his immunizations today made sense (MMR, DDPT, polio, and a flu shot just for good measure). Judging by his reaction to the shots, I'm sure he thought it was decidedly not a good idea. We also confirmed what I had suspected for a couple of years - that my son has a mild hernia (what I believe to be an umbilical hernia, due to the position of the little bump and the lack of pain or discomfort). The doctor did not recommend surgery at this time, but now that I know for sure what it is I will keep an eye on that little bump. It's funny. He was a few weeks premature, but had well developed lungs and only had to stay in the neonatal unit for a week. It was discovered when he was an infant that he had a urinary tract condition known as Vesicoureteral Reflux (there are two types - he had what is known as primary VUR, which an individual is born with, is quite often genetic, and, according to the urologist, is most common in fair-haired girls), but thankfully it was determined at his last checkup a couple of years ago that he had outgrown the condition. Aside from those couple of little blips, he's pretty healthy. His height is average, his weight is just a tick above average (but certainly within the normal range for his age and height). He seems to be developing normally intellectually (he's very bright, even if he sometimes spouts gibberish for the heck of it - he can count to upwards of fourty, knows all of his shapes, colors, easily grasps concepts such as opposites and rhyming and can read and write his own name) and emotionally (this is the age of resistance, how fun!). And he has no allergies that we are aware of. I am always grateful that he's relatively healthy, espcially at this time of the year. Actually, I'm thankful that we're all healthy...Okay. Reflection and warm-fuzzy time's over now.

This part is for M: Remember what you said about the Christmas gift you gave me? How my son would claim it as his the minute he saw it? I think I owe you a dollar. He walked in the door yesterday evening, stopped in his tracks when he saw what was sitting on the couch, and squealed "A costume, Mommy! Is that for me?". He loves it, so I caved in and agreed to share it with him. Now I get joint custody of plushy Jack Skellington. I get visitation at night and on weekends.

A gift that just needs givin'

A present, from me to you - don't say I never gave you anything (this is the UNEDITED version):

And I guess NBC finally got with the program and is actually releasing content directly onto YouTube - and allowing users to post without issuing those ridiculous cease & desist orders. Everybody wins! So, who wants CUPCAKES!!

'Twas the week before Christmas...

This weather is just not right. While the Pacific Northwest is dealing with a massive snowstorm of blizzard proportions, we here in the Southeast are met with unseasonably warm weather. One week until Christmas and I'm sending my son to school in shorts.

And this Decemberween present of tubesocks totally sucks...

Yo. 20 second T.O.

I'll make this one real quick:

Ah, SNL. See how much funnier you can be when you really try. Still not great, but getting better. I thought the junk in the box skit was funny.

1. Cut a hole in the box

2. Put your junk in that box

3. Make her open the box

Well, I guess I know what I'm getting for Christmas this year...And Hip Hop kids was cute, too - "You gotta recanize your sedimentary rock formations." True dat. True dat...I love Amy Poehler's Nancy Grace. It's not really funny. It's just spot on.

Speaking of Amy Poehler - I watched Mean Girls tonight, for the first time, and it occurred to me how cute Lindsay Lohan used to be. Used to be, I said. What happened there? I mean, beside the underage drinking, drug use, tanning addiction, serial sex-partners, rehab, possible eating disorder and rumored self-mutilation?

Oh, by the by, here's a fun fact: In Scotland, it is traditional to leave out haggis and mead for Father Christmas. Just in case, you know, you wanted to offer Sinter Klaus something other than the old standby of cookies and milk this year. For the sake of variety. Just be sure to keep the Jack Daniels under lock and key. We wouldn't want a repeat of last year...

Bah. Humbug. And Happy Hannukah!

M wanted to have an office party for the holidays, which we all decided was a good idea. Notice I said and office party - not an "invite whoever the hell you feel like" party. So one of the managers from our office invites his staff who do not work in this office. I found it to be rather presumptuous, although everyone else seemed okay with it so I must be the only one who thinks it sucks. I bought enough food for the five of us. Now there will be six or seven more people, potentially, and I had to buy more stuff to decorate the ornaments I decided to do in lieu of gifts this year. I just hope they all bring food. 'Cause if they show up without food and expect to be fed, they've got another thing coming. I'm not in that much of a giving mood.

And the co-worker who will be taking over my old position temporarily starting today has apparently decided that she doesn't need to answer the main phone. Even though that's a big part of the job she's now assigned to do. But I'm not either one of her two bosses, so I'm not going to be the one to tell her to do it. Apparently, judging by the reactions of some of the staff, what I say holds no weight anyway. Especially one in particular, who is also getting some BS stipend for doing - well, a lot of people are asking what she is doing. But the people asking the questions are obviously not the right people. I'm about over some of these fools and maybe the boss and I are going to need to have a serious talk about some things.

Wow. Comparing these last two posts, you'd think I'm manic depressive or something.

"I'm happy!" -- "I'm pissed!" -- "Oh, joy!" -- "&%#@!"

I think I'll find the happy medium of being a begrudging curmudgeon...

Quaffable, but uh... far from transcendent.

Last night, while mulling over a small glass of wine (Beringer White Zinfindel, to be exact - aka "the Pepsi of the wine world", since we aren't really wine "people" in my house), I came to the conclusion that I'm actually pretty content. On the verge of happy, even. Things seem to be going pretty well these days. Not too much drama, the stress has kind of peaked and then plateaued and the holidays loom large in the near future. So things, for now, are good. This is such a strange feeling for me, this sense of universal okay-ness, that I find myself not knowing what to do with all of those reserves of anxiety I've built up over the years. So, it's still there - sort of free floating in the miasma of my emotional soup. But in the background. Where I hope it will stay.

ONIOCHALASIA* it was not.

Poor SNL. It's just a downward spiral of suck. A swirling vortex of crap. It's pretty telling when Mad TV and SNL cover the same material on the same night, with equally dismal results. Namely, riffing on Mel Gibson's Apocalypto (which has been getting some really great reviews). Neither sketch was funny. Mostly because they were just horribly predictable. Note to the writers of both shows: if you all have the same joke, it's a sign that it's going to be a bomb. At least Mad TV even attempted a real sketch. SNL didn't even try. Wil Forte is their only saving grace. And Gwen Stefani is an amazing performer - I just wish she'd ditch the leopard print one-piece. It's not flattering to anyone.

I managed to pretty much finish all of my Christmas shopping tonight. I went way overboard with gifts for my husband. I mean, he got a 40" lcd tv this week, and add to that everything I got him tonight. Overboard, for sure. And I have to say, I loathe the mall. Truly. I was physically accosted by an overzealous kiosk girl - she actually approached me (it was my fault for pausing when she started to talk and asked a question about my fingernails, but I was trying not to be rude), and then grabbed my hand and started to pull me toward her kiosk of lord-knows-what (I think it was over priced all-natural products, maybe). Oh, that pissed me off. I jerked my hand away and started walking the other way as she called after me. I was already a little edgy because the mall was crowded and I was trying to finish up my list. Then I had to go to Wal-Mart, which I hate even more. By the time I got home I was exhausted and a little cranky. But dinner was ready, and the house is fairly tidy, so I think I'll settle down with the book I'm reading and relax a little. I have a feeling it's going to be a long week coming up with the new job and all that comes with it, so I'll try and enjoy my "me" time as much as possible right now.

Clark: Our holidays were always such a mess.

Clark Sr.: Oh, yeah.

Clark: How'd you get through it?

Clark Sr.: I had a lot of help from Jack Daniels.

*Definition: Buying as a means of mental relaxation.

Goodies. And whatnot...

This is some good stuff... some dialogue from the cast of Scrubs dubbed over A Charlie Brown Christmas:


We finally got our carpet installed! It's lighter than I thought, and is a similar color to the walls, so the rooms are pretty neutral. We also got a new couch - it's sage green sueded microfiber, and so comfy! We went out and got a tree yesterday and after all of the running around today I decorated it. Now it feels like Christmas. And speaking of Christmas, my husband got his new lcd tv finally. It's pretty nice. Now all we need is the HD satellite box - but that's one of the things that will have to wait until after the holidays. So I'm off to watch some shows on the new tube and eat some peppermint stick ice cream.

Don't come in here with no peanut butter cookies -

- Because she prefers pecan sandies. And don't you forget it.

We went to SnowFest downtown over the weekend. Plenty of Fest. Not enough snow. Lame Santa. My son got a kick out of the sledding (as evident in the picture above), and we went for ice cream afterward. He did make a new friend who taught him to holler "Pee-pee" in public. Thanks little girl, wherever you may be...

I still don't know what's going on with this work thing. My boss hasn't talked to me about a lot of the details (he doesn't seem very clear on the details, himself), and my co-worker has extended her employment another week. Although that other week will be her using the rest of her vacation leave. We took her out to lunch at the Columbia today for tapas. We had parking misadventures, and a fisherman asked Megan to help him with his hood. We ended up being there for two hours, but when we got back no one said anything. I have Christmas shopping to do tonight. If I can work up the enthusiasm...

Lets get festive

It's December 1st. Yay! That officially marks the beginning of the holiday prepration season for my family. So tonight, despite the total lack of suitable furnishings to cushion our tender bottoms (and the notable absence of a tree or any other decorations at all), my son and I watched Frosty. We also watched part of The Polar Express, and during the scene where they hand out cocoa to the kids, I made him some hot chocolate. I did put up our tree at work. It's bare, though. We'll fix that next week. We always do a theme - one year was Green & Gold (the school's colors), last year was blue and white (colors of the Israeli flag), and this year is multi-colored and will represent multi-cultural and multi-ethnic celebrations. I will also be contributing a menorah as a reminder that there are other holidays besides the most gaudy one. Update: The tree at work is all decked out in all its bright, shiny finery, and I've gotten a couple of compliments on the menorah this week.

Sheep can't climb ladders

So it seems I'm getting a promotion, of sorts. Mostly because they were between a rock and the proverbial hard place of being totally screwed without a budget person of any kind. Enter me, to save the day. It comes with a nifty title that sounds more authoratative than it really is, my own office with actual walls (and a door - oh joyuous happy day!), and maybe a few bucks thrown in for good measure. Did I mention I get my very own office? The perks! Ahhhh...

Alert! We interrupt this regularly scheduled blog post to bring you this news: Scrubs is on. They're playing Ok Go's Here It Goes Again. Captains wheel on the roof! Good idea, Pirate Janitor! Misses Zeebee! You know who that was, right?

How bout a little "Guy Love"?


This is courtesy of Zach's MySpace and is also posted on his blog.

*Ahem* Sorry. Now where was I...? Oh. My husband is putting drywall compund on one of the walls. And our couch fell apart. One whole side literally detached from the rest of it and went boom onto the floor. Time to buy a new couch <<< {singsong} We're still waiting for carpet, for the love of Pete. The endless waiting. I was supposed to go to Target and the craft store tonight for a menorah for the office & some various other things, but I'm whupped, so I'll do it over the weekend and have everything on Monday.

You can't spell pirate without "irate"

Ahoy mateys! Some pirates ended up in our harbor today. It was Arrrrrsome! Okay...so maybe they weren't exactly pirates. We aren't sure what they were, exactly. All I know is that the name of the rickety little vessel seemed to be in Greek, so I'm certain they were dread pirate shrimpers. Or, actually, looking more closely at the pictures I took, dread pirate spongers.
The first rule of pirate laws is: no one talks about pirate laws! Ye scurvey dawgs...

In other news - uh, I'll blog about the other news later. Oh my goodness.
UPDATE: The other news is one of the managers lost his patience last night with one of these trouble causing rabble-rausing students. I sat here past my usual quitting time to bear witness to the bone-headedness of this kid for placing a cell phone call (while in the process of discussing the results and consequences of his prior stupid behavior) and proceeding to talk sh*t about the process he was in the midst of and the person who is in charge of the process. Right outside the door of that person. This is so indicative of this generation of younger people: no common sense; no respect for authority; no sense of personal responsibility.

And M - I'll e-mail you that picture tomorrow. Pardone moi.

Corporate welfare

Today was a little rough. Lets not even speak of it. Many thanks to M for being a rock of stability and productiveness in the face of my panic. And for the chips. *hugs*

One of the co-workers is departing, and I have tentatively been tapped to replace her, but nothing's set in stone. And I would have a week to learn her system (I have a feeling I would need to make some changes, though, and tweak some things to suit myself). But - there may be a promise of more money. Emphasis on the maybe. There are changes coming. I just don't know if they're going to be to my benefit or not...

We're plugging away with the drywall and and compound/texture work on the walls at home. We should be able to paint this weekend, and the carpet has been scheduled for the end of next week. So, maybe my son can stop asking when we're going to get a Christmas tree. On a related note, what is up with the junk they're trying to sell to kids these days? Moon shoes? What kind of crap is that? I just don't get it. Is it that I'm old now? Is that why I think "moon shoes" are one of the most retarded toys ever?

Well, it's almost time for bed. Gotta get an early start to the day tomorrow - got a candidate to shepherd all over creation and lunch to pick up for a meeting (and YES I'm paying for it myself), so it'll be another long day. If anyone's wondering what to get me for Christmas this year, a biography about Marie Antoinette would be delightful. Or anything else you think I might like. I already know what I'm getting you. And by the way, if you haven't noticed, it's freaking HOT! In the 80's going into December? It's just unnatural! It's tough to be in a festive mood when you feel sweat tricling down your back while you're just walking from one building to another.

My stomachs growling, can ya feel me?

Happy Feast of Thanksgiving to all!

My son and I are currently occupied by watching the Macy's parade. Wow - Al Roker is a total spaz. But the floats and balloons are always fun to watch, and we can't wait to see Santa. I am highly anticipating dinner this afternoon, with a side of in-law drama. With my brother in-law gearing up to volunteer himself for military service, the conversation this year will be lively, to say the least.

There. And back again.

And one film to rule them all...and in the darkness (of the theater) bind them. Okay, okay. Up until now I've done my best to ignore all of those various internet rumors about a someday-maybe film version of The Hobbit. But, really, how can one turn a blind eye to the news of Peter Jackson being unceremoniously scuttled from a project that no one seems willing to openly admit is even in the process of being made? The Hobbit would rock. It royally would - but only if done right. The Hobbit is a simpler story - much more of a fantastical adventure tale for kids than the Ring novels were, and I hope that doesn't get lost in the translation down the line. I can think of a few directors that had better keep their stinkin' mitts offa my precioussss...

And now, because it's just a requirement any time we mention hobbitsesss...


And, of course, the classic...

Try to get that catchy little tune out of your head!

The greatest adventure is what lies ahead.

Maxims for maximized revolutionary revolutionists

I have a co-worker in one of our deparments who always acts harried and is always saying how busy she is. She reminds me of Alice's white rabbit, checking the clock and saying, to anyone who'll listen and sometimes to no one in particular, that she has so much to do. And yet she somehow has the time to go upstairs to HR constantly (it's all the way across campus, which means that those trips leave her office entirely empty and they don't seem to be work-related activities, either), and this morning had a whole thirty minutes to spare while going on and on with another co-worker about her upcoming wedding. She's a corporate ladder climber who's managed to have a lot of people fooled into thinking she's the proverbial bee's knees. But you know what they say about how you can only fool some of the people some of the time. There was a little dust-up over some religious talk between a couple of employees in the hallway last week (one of them was supposedly another one of my co-workers). We'll see what repercussions (if any) may await the parties involved. There's a lesson here, at any rate - when at work, it's always best to: Do your job and keep your personal opinions to yourself.
I've got two more projects being added to my growing list. And it seems as though I'll be the only person here over the Christmas holiday. That's nothing new - I've spent the last two winter breaks holding down the fort. Why? Because. Because why? Because...that's what's expected, I guess. And so it goes...

We have acrobats dressed as monkeys. But no monkeys dressed as acrobats.

"Look, mom! I'm delicious..."

Yesterday was the little guy's first ever trip to a Disney theme park. We took him to Animal Kingdom to start his exposure off slow - I thought the Magic Kingdom would be a little bit too much for him, and I'd never been to Animal Kingdom before anyway. The dinosaur ride was a lot of fun (except for my sister being curled up in a ball for the whole ride), but we didn't ride anything else since A) most of the lines were almost an hour and a half long and B) I'm a weenie, and I didn't want to ride Expedition Everest. My son had such a great day. He was pretty good for the most part - he got to play, have his picture taken with Pooh Bear, Eeyore and Tigger, and eat an italian ice while watching a Finding Nemo stage show, then, as the highlight of the day, he got to have his picture taken with Mickey Mouse (we snuck into the line after it was already closed - such wanton rule breakers we are...). He also got the requisite mouse ears, and a Lightning McQueen car as his treat for being so good. Before we left we watched the Lion King show, which was kind of neat. It was after closing time when we headed home and it was quite cold and later than I'd planned, but it was still a good day. I'd like to plan to go to DisneyWorld after he turns five. Wanna go?

We've got a cold front going through now, and my wardrobe isn't up to this challenge. Of course, it's supposed to warm up a little in time for the Thanksgiving holiday. We're working steadily onward with the house projects. We're running out of time, so we're going to hustle and get a lot done over the long weekend coming up. Cleaning, painting, patching - all of it.

Missing: one cordless house phone. Reward: my undying gratitude. How does a person manage to lose a house phone? I've been racking my brain since yesterday, and I still can't figure out where it ended up.

It's okay if you want to drop dead

Good gracious I'm exhausted. There was a point earlier today that I felt like I could have lapsed into unconciousness at any moment. I took a jaunt over to the B&N with Megi to patronize their "faux" Starbucks for some fresh air and a frappucino. See, we were misled. They told us we were getting a Starbucks. A real Starbucks. But what we really got was a B&N Cafe serving "Starbucks products". But - a frappucino is a frappucino any way you shake it, and I did buy another book, Relic by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child. It was made into a movie with Penelope Miller several years ago. The musem setting makes it creepy, the science makes it awesome. Megi would concur...

I just wasted a good bit of time updating my MySpace and adding a nifty new music player that allows you to make a playlist. And in the process of looking through some archived favorites I found some some cool things to add some pizazz to this here blog, as well. I may even post MP3's in the future. How scandalous!

Now, if you don't mind, The Office is on, and I find myself in need of a tall glass of Jim. Then, I have dishes that need doing.

The undecipherable dots are my favorite part!

Tonight I had a night out at an event at a local museum featuring the works of artist Salvador Dali with Megi and her friend Katie. We decided to go over to the sandwich and beer pub across the street and have, well...sandwiches and beer, before walking over to the museum. When we got to the museum we discovered they had sandwiches. And beef empanadas. And little cakes. But, most importantly, they had sangria. And it was good (I had three cups...it's okay, they were very small...). The big boss was there. I choked on a piece of my litle coconut cake when I spotted her coming in the door. Then I got another little cup of sangria, and I was fine. We didn't take part in the tour, but judging by the "And whatnot. And such" that the tour guide kept spouting it was probably just as well. She did not seem to have the gifts of eloquence or public speaking, so her career choice baffles me. We stood in the front of the gallery mostly staring at the three largest paintings on display - the most famous of which being the Hallucinogenic Toreador. Now, Dali was a prolific artist and is quite famous - I think the melting clocks are iconic, and I'm sure you'd agree - but, I'm not a big fan of surrealism. My lack of enthusiasm for the artist aside, I really enjoyed going out tonight. Today's work hours were consumed by payroll issues *again* and I'm wound tighter than a spring in a backwards running clock (see how I tied that all together...), so I needed a little diversion.

That's your answer for everything

I still have that stomach ache from last week. And as an added bonus, this weekend I started taking medication with side effects of stomach ache, nausea, and general tummy trouble. This is gonna be a baaad week for me. I get in to work this morning, and find paperwork for someone else's hardly-earned stipend on my desk with a big question mark on it, asking what do I know about this. The thing is, I don't know, I don't want to know. The other thing I don't know is how that person is getting a stipend when they don't even do their job right? I spent all of last week solving problems and doing work because they were out. I'm still waiting for my wage equity and job responsibilities problems to be resolved - while I do other people's work for them. Because it's what's expected.

Then I got an angry call from a student demanding to know why she only got a couple hundred dollars in her pay check, and saying that if I didn't figure out the problem and have a check for her by Wednedsday, then she would stop working. What follows is entirely internal dialogue: Fine by me sweety - I'm not your boss and you're not my problem. I couldn't care less if you worked another day or not. I don't personally care if you don't get paid. The department full of idiots you work in can sort it out. Actually, payroll isn't in my job descritption, and you're damn lucky that I had one nice bone left in my body that I even made sure that you were paid anything at all. Trust me, if I had left it up to the department, it would have been even more screwed up.
I tranfered her into the head of the totally ass-backward department that she works for, then I turned off my computer and I went home. That's where I am right now.

Some guy just knocked on my door wanting to sell me steaks. Steaks??

IM IN UR [noun] [verb] ING UR [noun]

Megi insists that I update. So, onward with the mundane whatevers. I've had an upset stomach for two freaking days. Pity on me. Bleh. Buuuut - three day weekends are rather nice, even if I haven't been feeling a hundred percent. We took the opportunity to go to breakfast and do some early Christmas shopping without the boy, although we didn't really buy much. And my husband had a meeting today that gives him a lot to think about. It's up to him to make the decision that will make him happy and be best for his family. It always seems like when the rare opportunity knocks for us, it nearly beats down the door. Lunch today was...uh, interesting. The tone of the conversation was an eye opener, as always. Also, might I somewhat proudly state, I have dutifully avoided the temptation of soda beverages for a week. Too bad the same can't be said for alcohol or coffee. Starbucks is my own personal drug of choice these days. I honestly can't pass a Starbucks now without mentally going "Mmmm....caramel frappuchino" and feeling the irresistable pull of the caramel and caffeine combo. Lip smacky goodness, that is.

And the episode of The Office was great last night. Jim's faxes to Dwight from the future! How can you beat that one? You can't. You just can't...and he's going back to Scranton...to Scranton... (sung quietly to the tune of "Going Back to Cali" by LL Cool J, natch.)

It's for the birds...

I just sat in on a meeting where a part of the time was spent discussing the anticipated Avian Influenza Pandemic. I felt like I had been transported back in time a couple of years. Since this was a slow year for other natural disasters (hurricane free in '06!), now we're back to the bird flu. Apparently, the two hundred or so laboratory confirmed cases of human infection worldwide have resulted in a roughly fifty percent mortality rate. Over three years. Wait. Three whole years? Okay, that's where I put away my panic face for another, more appropriate, time. Let me go cancel that biohazard suit I just ordered. And it's still being determined if the virus is even communicable from person to person yet, or just by infected bird to human transimission. Let me just say that the bird flu has nothing on HIV/AIDS. They (meaning the bird flu's "people") need to step up their marketing strategy a little if they want it to become THE epidemic of this generation.

The clean smell of kids who know they rule the world.

So my state has a new (possibly ambiguously gay, but who cares really) Governor in Charlie Crist. Good for us. Except, he vows to continue on with Jeb's education and economic policies. So - bad for us. Actually, I've met Governor Crist before, and he seems like a nice guy. The Dems took the House (makes me imagine them storming the House of Representatives with pitchforks and torches), and a couple of wins may still swing the Senate in their favor. We got crazy man Bill Nelson as a Senator, but that was better than the alternative of "My Skin Is Stretched So Tight Over My Endoskeletal Structure That The Seams Might Burst Here On National TV In This Debate As I Tilt My Head In My Best Impression Of A Simple Human Gesture" Katherine Harris. She's an alien. And Rhonda Storms. She of the legislated morality and infamous hairlip. What else can I say, but WTF were you people in Hillsborough thinking, voting that witch-burner into the Senate? Don't you know she's made it her life's work to tell everyone else how to live their lives?! Is that what you really want? Okay, but you're next, sinners! My in-laws think Rhonda's neat-o. "She knows how to get things done" they say. "So did Hitler" says I.

Yonder into the infinite sucking void

Everyone around me seems to be succumbing to some sickness that leads to upper respiratory infections. I'm one day away from stringing garlic around my desk to ward off whatever this is. I also love how some of them have decided that since I'm not *ahem* sick (supposedly) I'd love nothing more than to do their work for them. Work which should have and could have been done last week, when they weren't suffering from the campus equivalent of the plague. I have realized today that the co-workers across the hall are really loud and obnoxious sometimes. I don't need to hear them yelling and braying like asses in addition to the ding*ding of the elevator all day long. Have some courtesy, people, and use your inside voices. As we like to tell my son when he gets a little too wound up.

This weekend my husband and I finished the drywall on the one doorway, and I helped pull up the rest of the old floor moulding. We ordered a front door and the new carpet (it's Mohawk!). Both will be installed sometime this month, I believe. Let me tell you - if you ever want to truly test a relationship, do a few home improvement projects. If you make it to the completion stage still together, you can survive almost anything. I went to see Pete Yorn in concert on Sunday night with my mom. Not my cup o' tea, but it wasn't bad. I got a kick out of watching the bass player act as backup singer with a cigarette dangling from his lips most of the night. I also amused myself by people watching. The beer was flowing at the bar, and judging by the smell the hash was being passed with abandon, so I watched a couple of patchouli and hemp festooned hippies twirl and a big beefy drunk guy dance around with a couple of ladies that were my mom's age but definitley attempting to seem younger. At one point beefy-man was doing a dance that I decided to mentally christen "The Elvis". It defies description. Trust me. Toward the end of the night some girls were dancing in front of the stage on the other side of the barricade. Security hadn't done anything up to this point, so my mom decided to go up there to get some pictures. About ten seconds later I see her come scurrying out surrounded by a bunch of laughing girls being chased by a security guard in a bright yellow shirt. Way to go mom. Pete seemed a little bummed by the sudden departure of the dancing fan girls, but the show went on. And on. And on...

Our weekly dinner with the Millers has been planned for tonight. It's back to Carmelita's. That means sangria - by the pitcher. It's like a tradition. {Five of us managed to polish off two whole pitchers this time. A record that's just begging to be broken.}

File this one uder Crazy People Follow Me Wherever I Go: While in the restroom at work today, some lady two stalls down who had walked in a second after I did says out of nowhere "I already wish it was Thursday". While she was peeing! I waited a second to see if she was on a cell phone (which is equally weird, imho). Nothing. I didn't know this woman, so I didn't say anything, and waited for her to leave first to avoid any strange awkwardness. Who attempts a conversation with a complete stranger while you're both doing your business in the john? Megi and I sometimes talk in the lav, but we know each other. It's still a little odd, even then I suppose. Just not as outright bizarre. I guess some men might be comfortable with this but their bathroom etiquette (and the circumstances of how they go about their business) is a little different. But I'm not a man, so I think it's creepy.

Six degrees of bringing home the bacon

Wow. Sometimes I think that full disclosure in higher ed in the state I work in can be awfully inconvenient. And then, I read articles about misappropriation and excess by university presidents in other states. All I can say is...wow. This point was made on a forum in response: "As universities are forced to operate more and more like corporations, guess what? Presidents are going to be more like CEOs than education administrators". I've been saying that for a couple of years. So much for "It's the students, stupid". Now speaking of higher ed...if you can rate your professor, why can't they rate their students? Oh, wait. They can. It's those novel things called "grades".

And stoned profs are the best! (Hint - to play the clip, select your video preference and click save)

Why do I find Borat funny? I mean - "Anoos" -- it's just sooo wrong. And yet.. *chuckle* Here's to hoping that this shtick will burn itself out pretty quickly, though. The "Niiiice" and "high five" catch phrases are wearing thin on me already.

Pony. The other, other white meat.

Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to write newsbriefs...
So apparently CNN is branching out. Now they're seeking opinion pieces from celebrities. Their new ad campaign will go something like "CNN - Now with more fluff to balance out your full day's serving of not-quite news!" Although, I guess it's still better than Fox News with "All missing white chicks all the time" when they're not war mongering or running propaganda pieces.
I did so love the editor's note at the top of the article, though: Willie Nelson is a legendary singer and songwriter. His new CD is called "Songbird." I'm sure that was for all of those young wippersnapper fifteen year olds who regularly read (or watch) CNN, who would look at that picture on the left of the page and ask "Who the eff is the old dude?". Yep. Sure. I do agree with almost every point he makes, however - as anyone who knows me is aware of how much I love horses. And llamas. And goats. And livestock in general. Did you know that the human hormone replacement drug PreMarin is a derivative of pregnant mare urine where the mares used in the manufacture of the drug are constantly kept pregnant throughout their lifetime, and that the by product of those pregancies is unwanted foals, many of them bound for slaughter? The more you know...

Bender: Today, I've personalised each of your meals. For example, Amy, you're cute, so I baked you a pony.

Got a story. Wrote a blog about it.

Something funny happened this afternoon. One of the lower admins came over to talk to the boss. While she was there, she got a call on her cell phone, so the boss says to her, without thinking "Get your vibtrator...I mean..." Then, she walks out to take her call, and he's laughing so hard he literally fell out of his chair. While knocking things off his desk. And he somehow managed to either hit the wall or the desk, dislodging a clock from the wall in the office next door. Oh. My. God.

Before all of this went down, though, I had the chance to talk to the boss about some things. He confirmed some suspisions and alleviated some fears. I just have a hard time watching the administrative gears grinding sometimes. Especially when it seems like they're more like spinning wheels. I have payroll issues to resolve come tomorrow. *this is where I'd put the sad smiley*

My husband is pretty excited about an upcoming opportunity (that sort of reads like a crappy on-line tarot reading...I am my own Miss Cleo -- "Call me now"!).


We're making some progress on the home-demolition projects that are supposed to be finished by the beginning of December. Will they be finished? Let me consult my crystal ball...

"We should be out there turning treats."

My weekend went entirely too quickly. I'm sure the same could be said for yours. It was a good one, though. I had fun. And thankfully, the mess that happens here over the weekend doesn't affect me - at least, until I walk in on Mondays. Apparently there was a fire in the hall, and more drama than you can shake a drunken freshman at. Business as usual in on campus living. Today I got to transcribe a document over the phone. I had to hold a cell phone with my left hand while typing (badly) with my right. Ugh. I already can't wait for Friday.

But Halloween is tomorrow, which officially marks the beginning of the always much anticipated Holiday Season. I can't believe it's almost November. Up next - Los Dios de las Muertes (November 2nd). Papier mache skeltons for everybody! Seriously, where does the time go, people??

So - Happy Samhain from the good freaks at Homestar Runner!

And, speaking of time - it's time to let myself eat cake.

The forecast calls for "bad craziness"

What's new this week? Well, there's some weirdness going down work-front wise. That's for sure. Someone's on track to be out of a job. I'm a little confused how the decision to get rid of their position came about, but my loyalties feel a little divided right now. On the one hand, I do understand the logic of how the person in that job before did double what this current one does, and if they're never in the office, what exactly are they doing. I get that. Totally. But on the other hand, the motivation behind it is a little self-serving, and the managers don't have the slightest clue what they're getting themselves into. Par for the course, eh? This isn't the only shady deal on the table, either. There are knowing looks and closed-door meetings all over the place. I thought this new boss would put an end to most of that. Look how wrong I was.

We had dinner with the Millers this week, and I head out to M's house in a couple of hours. I didn't get a single thing done today. Unproductive, yes, but it felt nice. The weather is beautiful right now. We have plans to go to the pumpkin festival tomorrow with my mom and my sister, so I hope it will stay like this through next week, at least for Halloween night.

Sometimes you eat the bear. Sometimes the bear eats you.

I heard this week that my old boss decided to try and tarnish my workplace reputation before he left, telling the uber-boss that I was one of his employees to "keep an eye on". Do I really cause trouble everywhere I go and am just not aware of it? All I know is that as long as I am allowed to do my job I don't care what they do - or what they think. Just leave me alone. Keep your power struggles and posturing away from the perimeter of my desk, or risk injury to your person.

Mister, don't touch my banana

My co-workers birthday was Saturday. It was news to me. Apparently she tried dropping hints to her supervisor (who does not celebrate his own birthday - for personal reasons). Today when I got in, my other co-worker (who we'll call Bill) bought her a muffin and made her a card. We all felt kind of bad that we didn't get to acknowledge her birthday properly (well, everyone but me, but we all know I'm kind of callous...). When the supervisor got in she mentioned it to him, and his response was "Well, you should have told me about it. And anyway, it's something that's important to you, not to me. You'll get over it." That floored me. No "Hey, wow, sorry, I want to make that up to you" or anything. Then later, they had a conversation about something and I heard him say "Some people have that time of the week". Say what! I really don't understand their relationship - both professional and personal. But I would've laid into him for that one. It's just inappropriate.

Makes me grateful for my friends. They love me and always celebrate my birthday, even when I don't want to.

Let my people go, biatch!

And also...Single man seeking shark for companionship, fun times, possible LTR. Must have bigger boat. No land sharks, please.

Please be careful, this will be boring

There's nothing like multiple police cruisers pulling up to your neighbor's house on an early Saturday afternoon to bring out the looky-loos to peer out their windows. We're still not sure what that was all about, but at one point the police cars totaled at least six, and a forensics van came and went a short while after. Judging by the numerous odd characters that have come and gone from that place since our neighbor moved in there, I can't say we greeted the scene today with any bit of surprise. I'm pretty sure that the slutty teenage wannabe gangsta that's been calling the place home for the past few months was involved in whatever prompted the police presence on our street. I saw her outside later this evening, so apparently one of her possibly drug-dealing a-hole boyfriends didn't rough her up - again. This time, anyway. But there's always tomorrow. UPDATE - La Femme Lolita and poseur were kicked out of the neighbor's house for bringing the drama (and dealing drugs - surprise!). The skank alert is now at level yellow. Crisis averted...

Dinner with the in-laws tonight. Too much religious talk! Too much self-righteousness. Enough. And please stop speaking derogatively in loud voices about Jewish people in the middle of a crowded restaurant. I do find it offensive. So forget about Hannukah gifts from me this year...
Aside from that, it was a pleasant night.

Tonight's SNL = Still. Not. Laughing. Needs more cow bell. Or at least more Walken, for sure..."What... again?!"

*Yawn* What a sad state of affairs...

I love me some kerfuffle

Oh man. Coming home from dinner tonight there was some kind of altercation happening between a taxi driver and a couple of our redneck neighbors. In the middle of the street. That's some good Friday night entertainment right there. We ran into a bunch of people we know at the restaurant - my husband's parents and grandparents, one of his co-workers, and one of my co-workers (the one that calls me "sport"), who was having dinner with his wife. Then we got seated in the booth behind them. So there was no venting about work over dinner, which made my husband a happy man indeed. There was this rather large family having dinner at the table next to us. By large, I don't mean there were a lot of them. Bear in mind that this restaurant has their "bottomless seafood" thing going on, so it's like all you can eat. And these people could eat. In the end the mom was still eating while her two kids and her husband just kind of sat there watching. They were eating when we arrived, and she had a full plate in front of her when we were leaving - an hour and a half later. Some days I feel like a beached elephant seal, but at least I have the self-control and common sense to not try to consume my own weight in cheesy biscuits and seafood pasta.

We should all move to France, they have legislated 35 hour work weeks. Zut alors!
As a result, next weeks work motto will be:

Oh, and just because this totally grosses M out - our office flies are full of punch.
I am the death bringer, smoosher of bugs...There can be only one!

But, to appease her and get back in her good graces, here's the video to go along with Marilyn Manson's re-do of This Is Halloween from the 3-D re-release of The Nightmare Before Christmas in select theaters:

A large shed. Filled with useless tools.

Riddle me this: How does one work from home when none of the business systems used by your employer are accessable from home? What would one call it, then? I know! Time off. Period. Meanwhile, your frindly neighborhood angst-filled office-ninja assassin faces the questionable task of solving all of the worlds problems - which she is certainly not being paid to do - while her own work goes neglected. Ah, well. Business as usual. I just don't wanna hear complaints that there isn't enough support coming from the drone ranks, okay? I give so much support, I'm like a freaking crutch. And one of these days I'm going to get yanked right out from under you.

Aw hell, they've got Air Fest going on next door. I hear the jets doing their low fly-overs this morning. I wish I had the time to go out and watch...

BSG tonight. The storyline this season is fantastic so far. As is Lost. Next week is going to be tense, if the promo is any indication.

*Note to self: STOP reading reviews of eps with spoilers before you watch what you have recorded.

Now, back to work with me. But not until after I go down to the lobby of doom and ponder the wheel of death to see about getting a cold bottle of fat and calorie laden Starbucks frappucino goodness.

Making an ass of you. And umption.

This morning I was treated to a sanctimonious lecture from someone working in another office. It started off as a nice little conversation about our children, but when I mentioned that my son wasn't too keen on the idea of trick-or-treating this year and said part of it was because he didn't seem to want to go up to the neighbor's houses and knock she jumped to all kinds of assumptions. She looked at me and said "Well, then I guess you should take him for walks so he can get to know his neighbors." Well, she doesn't know if we do that or not, now does she? And it just went on from there. But when it got to the point where she was telling me that next year when my son is five I will have to introduce the idea of Christmas as a "season of giving, and not receiving" and how she expects that I'll be taking him to volunteer at homeless shelters and soup kitchens I kind of checked out, mentally. And when she mentioned putting up a stocking for Jesus, I had to resist the urge to laugh ("Here's the stocking for our Zombie Lord and Savior, sweetie!"). The whole conversation on her end was so holier-than thou, it took everything in my power not to yell "Heifer - you don't KNOW me. Step off!" I was nice, though. Just smiled and nodded. Just remember people, no matter how well intentioned, your values are not always my values.

Building a henge, are we?

So, according to some new archaeological evidence the area around Stonehenge might really have been more of an ancient deed restricted community than a celestial calendar or some sort of shrine for those darn pagan Druids.

Einsteinian physics ruled by Frankenstein logic.

Hey now - Who has nuclear capability? CNN breaks it down for you. I don't see how Israel can be suspected of having a nuclear weapons program, and not face the same UN sanctions as Iran and North Korea. I was aware of the Big Five, but to see a list of nations that have the capability to produce a functional nuclear device in a short span of time due to their existing programs and technology - that's an eye opener (Canada, Germany, Sweden, Belgium, Switzerland, Taiwan, Spain, Hungary, the Czech Republic, Slovakia and Lithuania). At least they're all ostensibly advocates of and committed to being "non-nuclear weapons states". Too bad that can't be said for all. Yeah, I'm looking at you, Kim Jong Il.



The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything save our modes of thinking and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.
~Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955), Telegram, 24 May 1946

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
~Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

Updates...

For those few sweet souls who read my blog: I update and change old posts from time to time. My little way of altering the past and fucking with the time space continuum. It's fun. You should try it sometime. Or, just check out some of my old posts. Oh, and Bill -- I will post more in-depth updates of my mundane existance when I get the time. Until then: Peace!

'Tis the season to be spooky

Oh happy, joyous Friday the 13th!
I'm getting all geared up for Halloween this year. We'll probably be staying home and handing out candy to all of the little ghouls and goblins. My son doesn't seem all that interested in trick-or-treat, so I'll probably have him sit on the porch with me. Maybe he'll want to do it next year. We are planning on going to the Hunsader Pumpkin Festival. Anyone want to join us? And Jack Skellington and The Nightmare Before Christmas returns to theaters (in 3-D) on October 20th to celebrate the film's 13th anniversary.

(image borrowed without permission from the 10/21/05 edition of The Decatur Daily online)

The cure for what ails ye

What I need: A deep breath, three Xanax, two Librium and two Hershey bars. But, I'll settle for a dose of The Office tonight and a bowl of ice cream. A balm to soothe my rubbed-raw soul. Sangria would have been nice, too. *Schmee*

There's an interesting article on NewScientist.com about how much better our planet would be with no people. So, we were all taken in the rapture in this scenario? "But, St. Peter, I left the oven on!!"

Life. Or something like it.

Kitty came home from the vet yesterday, sans claws. The dog's reaction was kind of like "What the...I thought we got rid of that thing!". Her reign of destruction in this house has come to an end. She seems more mellow, somehow. Wanting to sleep in my bed and be petted constantly. But, I can see how she may start meowing more now. She used to scratch at things before as a way of getting my attention - she can't do that anymore, so, hence, the tiny little meow. On the personal savings front, my IRA is plugging away at a nice little clip. I had a positive change in the investment value in this statement period, so that's always nice. I can't wait until I actually start funneling money back into that account. I'm like a squirrel in my dealings with money (but not the evil raging zombie undead kind of squirrel, just as a point of clarification). My credit card expires at the end of this month, so the company very kindly thought to send me a new one. And to increase my spending limit (haha - as I like to call it "potential debt thresh-hold"). Keeping up with the Joneses has never been easier!(c)

Todays motto was: Procrastinators unite!...............Tomorrow!

Further name calling, further reduction of street cred

I just love talking in circles. This is getting me nowhere. I just want a clear delineation of the lines of responsibility, please. And I do have the right to question why. And I will.

To diverge away from my work-related ramblings for a moment, I would just like to say that the news coming out of the Korean peninsula today worries me. The world's leaders (even in China and Russia) have denounced the tests, and sanctions will no doubt be proposed - the president of South Korea went so far as to say "What North Korea has done is breaking the trust of the international society. Our government will take care of this in a fast and a very clear and cut way."

Soooo...it seems this may have been either an elaborate put-on in order to totally pawn the leaders of the free (and maybe not-so-free) world...OR their bomb test went all hinky and it didn't detonate properly (less than half a kiloton versus the four kiloton it was meant to be).

Verbal smack-down is Monday's main event

I had an amazingly full weekend, starting on Friday. Going to the mini-metropolis of Under Construction Forever's campus wasn't bad - it was good to get away from the office, even if it was just for a day (except, now I need a bumper sticker that says "I brake for perpetual construction on I-4"). I found the topic of students' internet use and how it effects university policies quite interesting. Coming from one of the first generations to have home computers with internet access (back in the stone-age of dial up connections as your *gasp* ONLY choice), I don't have the same mind-set as the typical older administrator that MySpace and Facebook are tools of the devil. Yes, they are creating a social vacuum where students are creating and nurturing more on-line social connections at the detriment of the development of interpersonal skills - but in the same respect, professors using podcasts and more correspondance and web-only courses being offered by those same administrators don't exactly help that situation. And yes, there is a level of accountability in what is posted in the public domain. But, if children were raised with more values and common sense these days, would it be as much of an issue? Is it even really an issue at all? Social networking sites are not the harbinger of the societal appocalypse. They're what chat rooms were in the 90's. And our culture didn't implode upon itself because of chatrooms, now did it?

The walk on Saturday was fun, if a bit longer than I'd expected (and I was surprised to run into people I knew, but the chance to just sit in Starbucks and chill on the way back was nice). I had a good time going out to a nice, fancy dinner and then hanging out with my husband's friends later that night and watching them play video games. Smoke and all. It was like old times.

On the way back from ORL, just outside of Lakeland, is a sign for "Downtown Orlampa". No - it's not a retirement village for Oompaloompas. It's a sign of the future!

One of the professional staff has been getting a brow-beating by their supervisor all morning. I can hear every word. It's awesome!

Foot - meet mouth

This Just In: Brandon Flowers is a nutter. And every time I turn around I see another story about how he can't seem to be able to keep from opening his trap about some thing or another. I mean, just shut up, Brandon. Nobody. Cares. And I implore you - invest in a good razor, for cripes sake!

And just how did they come to be called The Killers, anyway? Here's the answer, maybe - by assaulting random F-list celebrities? From Jimmy Kimmel Live:

Idiota

Today's work motto: Stupid is as stupid does. And some of my co-workers do a whole lotta stupid. If the questions they ask are any indication, anyway. The new HR chief is trying to plan a pumpkin carving contest, as some sort of uber-fun morale booster. Sorry. It takes mor then gutting a squash to raise my spirits. The best method usually involves dollar signs. Showing up in my bank account. I'm thinking that big, sharp cutting implements are not the best thing to give to some of us disgruntleds, anyway. This comes after her very first priority of instituting official "spirit days", on Fridays. Which means we get to wear jeans and company t-shirts. And there was great rejoicing across the land. I wonder if Hawaiian Shirt Day will be next, hmmm??

"Your methods are stupid; your progress has been stupid; your intelligence is stupid!" ~ GIR

The door. Is ajar.

I hate the door being open all day. It's thrown off the temperature regulation in the building and it's freezing in here. Like a meat locker. Except - I am not a piece of meat. I am a human being. Not to mention I am subjected to the noise of the main building and the constant dinging of the elevator. Plus, there are bugs. Of the flying, buzzing variety. EWW. Now I have the least privacy of anyone in this office. Pretty sad when I'm dreaming of a worker-drone cubicle of my very own.

Kitty went in for her spay and declaw this morning. She was very good with her checkup - no clawing or biting, not even a hiss. The vet assisstant called about half an hour ago and said that she had come out of surgery, and was in recovery doing fine. She comes home on Monday afternoon. I can feel secure that my new windows, new carpet and drapes, and furniture, as well as the mattress corners she has done her best to desimate, are safe from her raging claws of destruction. As long as there are no lasting physical or psychological side effects, all should be well. Skyler will be next for a checkup and vaccinations. We're reevaluating whether she should become more of an outside dog, since she's becoming more cranky in her (pending) old-age. She growled at Little D the other day. I'm not sure what brought it on, but I wasn't happy to see it either way.

Upcoming: Conference for work on Friday, and Race for the Cure at the crack of dawn on Saturday. We walk 2 miles to the starting line, walk the 5K (3.11 miles) for the event, then walk 2 miles back to campus for our cars. Brilliant. And my husband said to me last night "you haven't been to the gym this week..." - I wonder why. But it's for a good cause. So NO whining.
UPDATE: My legs hurt like a mother-effer. I am so out of shape.

Boh! My squeedily spooch!

I'm playing hookey today. Shhhhhh. Don't tell anyone. Really, though, I am feeling a little under the weather, mostly due to a lack of sleep. Generally achy with an upset stomach. Like you wanted to know the details of my malady.

This weekend was full of family fun. We went to dinner at Fred Flemings's BBQ on Friday. It was a little over priced for the portions, but not bad. We went t0 Quaker Steak on Saturday night, and then we went bowling. Dev had a great time. We'll probably do that again, but I'd like to see how he reacts to putt-putt golf, next time. And his friend Nicholas turned four, so we went to his birthday party at Chuck-E-Cheese's on Sunday. Aside from a nasty tantrum in the beginning (nothing a few well chosen words and a couple minutes in the restroom to calm down doesn't fix - no physical punishment needed), he had a really great time. Is it just me, or was Chuck-E-Cheese cooler when I was a kid? Their Skee-Ball just sucks now - there's this ledge at the end of the ramp that kept making the balls fly up and over to the next lane. I started wondering how many lawsuits had resulted from injuries. And I guess their hand stamping ink washes off with soap and water - when we were leaving and the girl tried to find our stamps to make sure we belonged together mine and the boy's were gone. So much for security measures.

I'm not really looking forward to work this week. I don't know how the task of getting everyone to the conference on Friday became my responsibility, but I'm dreading it. I don't have time to screw around with renting a van, I have way too much to do. Really, if I'm not planning on going in the van, someone else may have to arrange it. There are only five other people planning on going, so it may no even be worth it and they should just carpool as I have suggested. Of course, I'm not necessarily looking forward to driving to Orlando by myself, either, but I'll be better off. It looks pretty simple. I just hope I don't get lost. Which I tend to do. A lot.

I want to smite, smite, smite, smite, smite, the whole day down.

I have a conference I'm supposed to be going to next week in Orlando (big up to the angriest city in the FLA, yo!). A bunch of the staff are going, and the plan was to rent a van. But - big surprise - no one is willing to drive the van. So I've decided that everyone will drive themselves, or can carpool together. As for me, I've never driven myself to the big city across the bay, let alone two hours to the City That Walt Built. But, I figure, if I can make it to ORL, I can make it to south Georgia next year as Megansita and I have planned. Then next Saturday, I'll be taking part in the local Susan G. Komen Foundation Race. Megi wants to do the 5K, so I guess that's what we'll do. Pray that my legs don't give out on me by the time it's over. I'm only $30 short of my donation goal. *Hint Hint*

"Terror must be maintained or the empire is doomed"

From a story on CNN.com this afternoon comes this little gem: President Bush said he would declassify an intelligence document that reportedly finds the Iraq war has increased the terror threat to the United States. "It will stop all the speculation, all the politics about somebody saying something about Iraq," Bush said........

........Wait. What? I thought the Iraq war was meant to make us safer? But, instead there's a report that concludes this war has potentially increased the treat of bodily harm to the citizens of this country due to an increase in terror funding and growing anti-US sentiment in that part of the world as a result of our involvement? <*sarcasm*> No! Really!? <*/sarcasm*> And then, he says the American people should come to their own conclusions. Oh, come on, Bushy - the mere fact that you were re-elected for a second term indicates that the majority is not so good at thinking for themselves. Why not just gently lead them to the conclusion you want them to come to, as has been done so effortlessly in the past? Could it be that it is becoming more and more difficult to pull the wool over the collective people's eyes?

The Prez went on to state that media accounts of the leak were meant to "create confusion in the minds of the American people" and suggested that the report had been leaked for political purposes. Oh. Of course. Because no responsible media entity would print information regarding this report simply due to a sense of journalistic integrity and the search for the truth. And because our loving and altruistic Government for the people by the people would never in a million years lie to us. Obviously. And we the people just want to know what color suit Katie Couric will be wearing while she perches on the edge of her newsdesk with her approachable soccer-mom haircut to gently spoon feed us the nightly news propaganda she reads from the teleprompter.

Oops. My politics are showing. How embarassing...

The chaos butterfly adversely affects my weekends, too...

So there's been this ongoing debacle involving a check for a student, that has become the bane of my existence. Or one of the banes, along with the whole hiring process lately. But this thing with the check is getting utterly ridiculous. I mean, can we not get our collective shit together so this kid gets paid? I think we're on the way to totally ruining his life...at least, that's what he'd have us think.
Oh hey - the old boss is here. How weird. And I think I may have just said too much, but hell, it's all public here when all is said and done.

I'm seriously looking down the barrel of a busy weekend upcoming, between finally getting windows and Devin's first ever school-friend birthday party on Sunday. Next weekend is just jam-packed, too, between yet another pre-K friend birthday (this one's at Chuck-E-Cheese's *score*), and more home improvement plans. Then the following weekend is equally busy. Whew. How did this happen, all of this socialization and activity planning??

Weekend update...uh, updates.

Not necessarily improvements, however. I guess some of the internet predictions regarding cast changes to this season of SNL were partially accurate - the new cast has been announced, with some noticable absences. And The Killers will be the suck-ass musical guests for the premier on September 30th. And Andy Samberg still isn't very funny in anything. Except for the Lazy Sunday Chronicles of Narnia skit with the ever-funny Chris Parnell (who is leaving SNL). Which I would post here, if I could find it on YouTube. But it seems that NBC/Universal ruined that for me with the serving of a cease and desist notice to several video sharing sites. I hate them. I hate them soooo much right now. Cause I would give anything to sing along to "the cupcakes, the cupcakes".

So, instead, here's Chronicles of Libraria, courtesy of some USF Tampa student. Hey, dude - your mini-metropolis of higher learning clearly owns my waterfront campus of ill regard. I mean, check out the juice/smoothie bar. We're still waiting for our promised, but as yet undelivered, Starbucks.

I'm so tired, I can't even tell if this is clever or not. Someone let me know if I have erred on the side of the un-funny.

UN-listening skills

I had my first informal "conference" with my son's afternoon Pre-K teacher yesterday. It seems that he has been refusing to participate in circle time, and this causes a distruption for the other children. He does have issues with listening, but now my husband and I are at odds about what to do to help resolve the problem. I think my son needs more one-on-one structured time with mom and dad in the evenings and on weekends, where he has to follow instructions and directions (games, art, helping with chores, etc.). My husband's answer so far has been to scale back on tv and computer time, which is all well and good in general anyway, but he tends to lose sight of the root cause of the behavior. Just because you take away tv time does not mean you send the kid into his room for the majority of the evening by himself to have totally random, unstructured play time where he makes the rules and does whatever he wants. That does not solve the problem. It just confuses the kid! Taking away his toys and assigning an earlier bed time will also not address the bigger issue of the fact that my son is an only child, who although he's been in preschool or daycare of some form for half of his life, still prefers to be by himself a lot of the time and isn't crazy about being a "joiner". So, he's just like his mom! I think we need to plan more family time together, and I plan on buying a task chart for assigned chores and activities that make him develop his listening skills and make the idea of being part of the group seem more appealing to him. How many years of this do I have to look forward to, now???

Saw a bumper sticker on a jeep yesterday that said "If you can read this, roll me over". That's kind of how I feel. If you can see the look on my face this week, buy me a drink. I'll be your best frieeennnd!!

My hovercraft is full of eels...

I saw a bald eagle while driving on Park Street on the way to Sam's Club today. And at Sam's Club I saw two very scary people making out in the candy isle, which caused me to take a sharp turn in search of the "eye bleach" isle. *residual shudder* Also, some woman stopped my husband in the store and remarked (about the resemblance between my husband and my my son) "Did you clone yourself, because he looks just like you!"
Seriously, lady? Okay, lets start at the beginning, and I'll go kind of slow, so you can follow along. See, there's this thing called DNA, which stands for dioxyribonucleic acid...

(And here's the Monty Python sketch that the headline references...)

You forgot the refrain of drink drink drink!

What I learned today:
Carmelita's = Good sangria
Athenian Garden = Bad sangria
**Apologies to M for monopolizing the conversation and making our friendly lunch all about work. We swear every time it won't happen again, but then it does, and you sit there and just accept it. You're such a sport. I owe you a drink. And remember - a dry sponge is not a happy sponge.

The website maintenance program they use at work (Adobe - formerly Macromedia - Contribute), is so crazy simple that, if someone says they can't figure out how to use it, check to make sure they haven't accidently lobotomized themselves. Honestly, there's absolutly no HTML or CSS code involved - it's all templated out for you, you just edit the text and picture content more or less. It's easier to use than this blogging site. How sad is that??
Here's a head scratcher for you. Every Friday at 5:00 pm on the minute the exterior first floor doors of the building I work in lock automatically. Unless you have an access card to the other secured exterior doors, you cannot gain access to the building from the first floor (you can still exit the building from the inside through the main doors). You can, however, walk a few feet over to the exterior stairwell, ascend a flight of stairs, turn left to the elevator next to the RC's suite, descend in the elevator, and exit right in front of my office - in the now, supposedly, locked from the outside building. So, what's the point of locking the first floor doors if you can still get in the building? Don't know. Don't really care. Just think it's pretty funny, regardless.

As a way of kicking off what I hope will be a productive and utterly kick-ass weekend, here are some links that give me a funny feeling in my tummy. But it's probably just gas...*

From the fine folks at Gawker, we now have Idolator - a fun mix of music and gossipy goodness.

I-Mockery does reviews of random stuff (their review of LA's Mitsuwa Marketplace had me in joyous tears recently). And they have Pinhead on the main page - Megi & I were just talking about that movie. Coincidence? Highly suspect...

And I've posted the Best Week Ever Blog before, but it's so damn fun I have to do it again.

*Conversation with my 4 year old son this week:

Son, running out of his room and up to me:"Mommy, my butt is leaking!"

Me, amused, but concerned that diarrhea might be an issue:"What - do you need to poop?"

Son, turning around and running back into his room:"No! I just have gas!"

Home Is Where The Trash Is

I'd like to take this opportunity to share with M some items for her anthro knowledge base relating to the discussion of "middens" - I was a little surprised that an anthropology major wasn't familiar with that term (and, no, JM, we weren't talking about you...):

We have a statewide anthropological society? Really?

Weedon Island and Turtle Mound are neat sites of historical interest. And some info on a dig project in Indian River, with some links, and information on a dig courtesy of the Florida Museum of Natural History website.

The Tampabay History Center offers an online timeline that chronicles Florida's first people.
Bonus:
Bering Land Bridge National Park. Yes - that Bering Land Bridge. It's a bridge. Of land. See also: Bering Strait. So is the long held theory of the North American migration accurate? There is dissenting opinion on this topic, both from a scholarly and a cultural point of view.


M - let your professor know that I get a fraction of your earned credits this semester, okay? I'm getting my Anthropology degree by proxy, one fourth of a class at a time!

Violation

When I got in this morning my filing cabinet and desk drawers were all unlocked. The cabinet contains confidential personnel files, and gets locked every time I step away from my desk. I always lock the desk and cabinet before I leave for the day, but keep the keys in a certain place on my desk lately. I guess I'll have to start taking the keys with me again. Stay out of my drawers, sneaky petes.

And if this were my career, I'd have to throw myself in front of a train.

The blind leading the freaking blind here. And now a laundry list of newly designated tasks. And it's only the first day. Of the next 6-8 months of the rest of my life. I will say, they're polar opposites, the new boss and the old boss. I've got to give credit where credit it due, there at least. Now, I must get to that list...

Did I forget to mention the earthquake on Sunday? No kidding. Epicenter in the Gulf about 200 miles to the west of Tampa, 6.0 on the Richter scale, at about 11 am Sunday. Didn't feel a thing. Of course, the across the street neighbor had some heavy equipment running while he puts in a new front walkway, so that might've covered up any tremors. I guess I'll have to cross off "no massivly discernable tectonic movement" off of my list of reasons to live in the southeast as opposed to out west. We still have hurricanes and opressive heat, but we don't have the mudslides, flash fires or Sean Penn. Suck it California!

Smorgasbored

This is heavenly - one of my most favorite muppets. Ever.


Second, of course, only to Beaker...


And those crazy Yip Yips and their creepy telephone worship...

Hard-hearted harbinger of haggis.

Sooo. It was recently commented by an acquaintance that I might be better off calling my blog "Bitter Blog". And maybe I'd be just as likely to consider spelling the word cute with a k. Or my name with an i. Or, better yet, two e's! Because grown-ups spelling like lazy, semi-illiterate, pre-teen tarts is so hawt. OMFGLOLZ. Ahem...anyway. The point is: Bitter is a little subjective, isn't it? In the eye of the beholder, and all of that. Besides, if you're going to read my blog, then you're at my mercy. I use this as a forum to get some things out of my system. Really - would you rather I exorcise my emotional demons here, or just throw some shit. I'll give you some time to mull that over. And thanks so much for never leaving comments. You know who you are. And so do I.

Now, just for shits and giggles (and because I mentioned haggis in the title, so this makes it a working theme, somehow...), have some fun with this Scottish translator. Ah ken Ah did!

Zombie squirrel theater. And other tales of woe.

(Megan drew this amazingly detailed reinactment of my encounter with a raging zombie-squirrel last summer. I know it looks like a cat, but it's a squirrel. Really. And I look like the rampaging living dead rodent has stripped my flesh. Note the boots. That girl's got a natural talent with a No. 2, I tell you.)

"You may have a zombie survival plan. But do you have a zombie squirrel survival plan?"

We interrupt this blog to bring you an important message from the National Office of Zombie Prevention.

As a responsible citizen, you should have your Zombie Survival Guide handy at all times. Your life, and the lives of those closest to you, may depend on it. A good defense is vital. Know your rights as a a still-living and productive member of society. Protect yourself against the hordes of evil undead that are slowly cropping up around you, even as you read this. You may have difficulty at first telling them apart from Republicans and religious fundamentalists. But look for the signs, and stay alert. This message endorsed by Stephen Hawking. And your mom. Who is definitely not a zombie.

Now back to your regularly scheduled blogging.

There is a giant, gaping hole in my front living room wall. This brings me joy. Although - I hear that there may be...uh...problems. It's always something, isn't it?

And if I were at work right now I would seriously be kicking someone's ass. Multiple someone's. Sweet creamery butter, people!

Long weekends. Windows. Whatnot.

Happy day after Labor Day! Three-day holiday weekends are wonderful things. I went shopping yesterday. Have I ever said how much I hate the mall? 'Cause I do. But I bought some "heely" shoes that I needed for work, and three books (I'll post brief reviews of each as I finish them). Other than shopping (and extensive napping), the living room was prepped for the bay window to be removed and readied for a new picture window in its place (work starts tomorrow - I have been assigned the task of being home for most of the day for that). We tore up the carpet and padding and removed the baseboards - the water damage from 16 years of leaking wasn't as bad as we'd thought, but we'll still have to replace drywall. And we can't do laminate flooring in that room because the cement that was poured over by the window is far from level. For every step forward we go two steps back. Such is life, nu?

Since everyone and their brother will be commenting on the death of Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin, all I'll say on that subject is: Rest in Peace, reptile wrangling man.

So. I (over) hear some rumblings now about the on-campus living situation from the powers-that-be. Seems some students (and parents) are complaining about some problems. Maybe they're warranted. Maybe not so much. But now the head cheese wants all two hundred and some students polled about their feelings and experiences in the building and with the staff. But -- if this is the first time for residential students for the campus, and most of the residents have never lived on any other campus before, what are we going to compare the assessed data to? And if the overwhelming number of students have negative feedback, then what? Ack. My head hurts. That proposition that I was approached with last week looks more and more promising.