The games people play to lose

I have a co-worker who has always been a little high maintenance and frustrating. I tend to use a lot of metaphores and analogies as part of my thought processes, so in my head she is embodied as Disney's version of Tigger from A.A. Milne's Pooh stories. The sometimes latently adversarial quality of our whole working relationship hinges on the fact that for much of my life I have associated myself with Eeyore - who is often at odds with Tigger's character. Eeyore is quiet, and likes be alone to think over the nature of the simple perfection of a thistle flower and the portent of gloomy rain clouds on the horizon - the pentultimate existential pessimist. Tigger, on the other hand, is loud, boisterous and unfocused, cannot be alone with his own thoughts for very long and is easily distracted by the prospect of some adventure (which usually culminates with him getting lost in the woods and in need of rescue) or a game of Pooh-Sticks with the Thousand Acre Wood gang. Plus, there is the fact that Tigger is constantly bouncing an unappreciative and unsuspecting Eeyore...and that one time Tigger - in a characteristic bout of overexuberance and carelessness - destroyed Eeyore's perfect little house made of twigs.

(This analogy is by no means unique to me - although my take on it is a little different than maybe that of many others. You can read more on the Tigger/Eeyore dynamic here and Randy Pausch also talks about it in his book based on his lecture at Carnegie Mellon University)

But getting back to the main point of my story: I didn't think I could get to the point of openly resenting this co-worker - only because I find her too ridiculous sometimes to put that much energy into having strong negative emotions towards - but I believe I may finally be there after over a year of dealing with her neediness and her passive-agressive tendencies...not to mention her habit of trying to bs her way through and act like she knows everything, even when it is painfully (and sometimes even amusingly) evident that she doesn't have a scrap of a clue. After spending two days at the beginning of the week revising what are essentially revenue/expense guesstimates for one of the main accounts (that the budget office needed to have now now now and this same co-worker and I argued over on more than one occassion because she couldn't get through her head that the data I needed was NOT the information she had provided, so she was making the project even more behind schedule) and throwing off my work schedule by a huge margin in the face of incredible deadline pressure, I am attempting to catch up. An impossible task, of course.

This morning I was going through the vacation requests to make sure everything has been requested and also approved so that when I run the six month report there will be nothing caught out in the system. When I pulled up the master vacation list for the summer and the first person I checked was this same excrutiatingly aggravating co-worker. Lo and behold - missing a vacation request. So I go into her office and blankly tell her she needs to put in the request, which gets me some static back because she says she put it in and the boss approved it because he e-mailed her back. I tell her to resubmit the request, and she starts her same spiel of "Well now, before I do this, explain to me how this glitch could have happened". (Because she likes to talk things to death so that people get frustrated and throw up their hands in surrender, you see, but I won't fall for one of her little tricks now that I know what her m.o. is...)

Thinking in my head that there was no *glitch*, I tell her that the only reason that I am aware of why the request isn't in the system is that she didn't save the request before she exited (figuring, in the the back of my mind, that she conveniently forgot to put the request in so that the hours wouldn't be subtracted, giving more vacation time than she actually should have had), and she starts to argue that it's not possible, that she has the e-mailed approval from the manager. Basically tell her I don't care and that if she doesn't put the request in I'll be forced to do it for her - at which point she brightens because she thinks I'll do her work for her - but I refuse to do that because then I'd have to notify her boss that she refused to correct her vacation request, and made more work for me (not that he actually cares - I was bluffing). If by the end of the day I go back and run the report and the request isn't there then maybe I'll have to back up that bluff. In writing.

She hasn't quite figured out that I'm not so easily won over with gifts of candy and little thank-you cards that show up on my desk after I've called her on something or made it abudantly clear that she is not my boss and I do not work exclusively for her.

Eventually the various managers and other peons will have to come to terms with the fact that I'm no longer here to make their lives easier at the detriment of my own. I am also no longer going to solve everyone else's problems. I have enough of my own to worry about. I was making myself sick over some of the aspects of my job, and I just can't afford to do that. Like I always say...I know I'm not indespensable, but if I got hit by a bus tomorrow quite a few processes would come to a sudden screeching halt until some folks (who obviously won't be named, to protect the incompetant) removed their thumbs from their rectums and were forced to think - and do - for themselves. It has been pointed out that I may eventually "empower" the staff right out of my own job, but I would honestly rather do that than continue to "enable" and land myself in the hospital with a major stress-related health problem.

States of imaginary grace

This week marks the culmination of the first full budget period that I've held my current position. The previous six months were encompassed by trying to get a handle on what the job entailed and what the predecessor did. Basically, I've figured out that my job decription - while outlined on paper - is pretty fluid, and involves doing whatever anyone asks me to do, at a moment's notice. As for what the person before me did...it certainly wasn't remotely as involved as what is expected of me in the same role (for a lower title and less money, I might add). I'm hopeful that the new budget year brings positive changes and a greater sense of purpose and accomplishment. Of course...more money would be great, too.

My husband officially found out last week that he is diabetic.

He and his doctor suspected it for a while. So now, at the age of 30, my husband is taking a blood pressure drug, something for triglycerides, and an insulin pill, as well as something over the counter for heartburn/acid reflux and a couple of multivitamins and Omega 3 on the advice of his primary care physician. He grumbles a lot about how he was so much healthier when he was a smoker (he's been cigarette free for a year now). I say he attributed a lot of these symptoms to his addiction to nicotine, and he's only now getting around to seeing doctors, being properly diagnosed, and being treated. Bottom line - he needs to take better care of himself. He sometimes makes a bigger deal about my weight than I do myself...in which case, I usually throw back the fact that my body may have some excess emergency reserves, but at least it isn't at war with itself.

When I went to pick my son up from camp on Friday afternoon as I was buckling him into the car I noticed his shorts were covered with something. I asked him what he got on his clothes and he told me he threw up on himself. This led to a series of questions that I didn't get very sufficient answers to, and a discussion with my husband when we got home. We probably aren't going to push the issue or make a big deal out of this, mainly because we're not sure if we're getting straight answers from our precious snowflake. But I have to ask -- what kind of camp program lets a kid run around all day covered in his own throw up (not to mention not calling or even issuing an incident report so that we could be informed about what happened)? I really can't wait for school to start - I haven't had good feelings about this program from the beginning and I'm not sure we'll be seeking to enroll the kid next summer.

I'm counting down the days until my first vacation of the year - the clock is ticking at two and a half weeks. This one is short, but well needed and, I think, much deserved. I think it's been a couple of years since we've taken a "real" vacation. Plus, both trips this year will be road trips, which makes them double awesome. Add the long Independence Day holiday in there, and I'm hopeful that rest and a restored peace of mind will be in short order.

Welcome to my world...

11AM Where They Don't Nag About Deadlines All the Time

Supervisor: This was supposed to be done hours ago, what is taking so long?
Employee: I was too busy working on my resume so I can get a better job.

Park Avenue
New York City, New York

via Overheard in the Office, Jun 19, 2008

Highly prized...hardly used

I asked the new co-worker this morning if we had received a fax that I'd been waiting for. She looked at the machine and said "nope". A minute later I walked into the copy room to get something and glanced over at the fax machine. No paper! Well, gee...I guess that would be why there was no fax, eh? This is someone who made sure to let the minor manager know that she posessed a Masters degree. But I guess they don't cover loading paper into an empty paper tray in Graduate school.

Collateral damage

I'm in a sublimely foul mood this morning. It was almost impossible to get out of bed and I'm still kind of fuzzy and lingering in that zone between half-asleep and just barely functioning. The power has flashed a couple of times, and I had my fingers crossed that it might actually go out for a little while, but so far the lights have managed to stay on. I made the coffee this morning, and I made it a little too weak. My new coworker signed up as some program leader for part of the day, so she's not around. Near as I can tell, she hasn't had too much actual work to do since she was reassigned over here. Just as she was getting ready to run out the door, the boss asked her to do something - so she poked her head around the corner to ask me to do it.

They're closing a parking lot at the end of the week, to put a building on it. Some magnificent oak trees will also be lost in th building process, which to me seems like a real tragedy. Just another victim in the organization's quest for heedless (and maybe misguided...) expansion and growth.

The weekend was a total bust. We did nothing. We accomplished nothing. It felt freaking awesome! I watched a couple of movies Friday evening, wasted a great deal of time puttering around on the internet on Saturday, and spent most of Sunday watching specials on VH1 Classic. Over the next few days I'll be making up for the weekend's lack of productivity by digging up half my backyard to begin a wildflower garden.

Since something is going on with my work computer and Pandora no longer loads properly (it works fine at home, so the problem is I guess network or security setting related), I had to find an alternative. I stumbled on Slacker Radio, which has a great selection of ad-free pre-programmed stations featuring 'alternative' and 'indie acts'. There's a station devoted to the bands that were featured as part of SWSX this year. There's a little bit of repetition in the playlist for each station, but if you switch over to a different station every once in a while it's not so noticeable.

It's been storming quite a bit the last few days. We really need the rain, but people forget how to drive in wet weather. On Friday when I was picking up my son from camp I had a storm break right over my car - one second it was slightly overcast, but not a drop of rain, the next it was an amazing torrential downpour to the point where I could barely see the road. I had to slow down to a crawl, and when I got out of the car I got soaked. Driving back to the house from camp was equally exciting, since the roads started to flood. I was afraid my car might stall at some point before we got home, and my cell phone wasn't charged, but we made it in time for the storm to let up just a little. As I was walking in the door my husband was getting ready to leave for his weekend job. I had just gotten changed when he ran into the house cursing and looking for the umbrella - apparently, at some point after he'd come home from work just before it started to storm, the kittens from next door had taken refuge in his truck. In the warm (and dry) engine compartment. When my husband started the truck, he heard some strange thumping noises, and glanced down to see the black and white kitten that looks like my cat streaking across the yard to the neighbor's house. Then he saw the two marmalade tabbies limping out from under the truck. He was justifiably pissed and really upset that the kittens might have gotten hurt - not to mention that the engine could have been damaged.

We've talked to the neighbors about the cats before (among other issues - if you've ever seen the condition my neighbors keep their house in, you'd understand), so my husband went over and gave them a piece of his mind. The lady that lives over there assured us that the kittens would be dealt with, and my husband has given them until next Monday to resolve the issue before he starts to make calls to Animal Services and the code enforcement office. He also plans to put out live traps for all the cats, if Animal Services doesn't intervene. I've seen two of the three kittens since Friday evening, and they look fine. I haven't yet seen the third kitten, so I'm a little unsure how that one might be doing. The neighbors have been cited several times, as well as had to surrender cats and agree to not feed them to discourage them from congregating - and breeding - behind the house. I don't care if they have cats. They just need to take responsibility and care for them properly.

I got news ealier today that someone in another department, who had been seriously ill for some time, had passed away. And the daughter of my former boss is in the hospital with major pregnancy complications.

Update time...

I just got back from THE WORST dinner I think I've had in a very long time. Possibly ever. The service was lackluster, the food was mediocre, and my son spent most of the meal laying in his dad's lap - because we thought he was just really, really tired. We found out after we got home that it was more than that, but at least he was able to hold it off until we got in the door. The lesson learned is twofold: do not go to a new chain restaurant, no matter how promising the commercials make it look, without researching reviews...and if your normally vibrant and upbeat kid is lethargic and doesn't even touch his favorite food at dinner, you can be assured that the evening will end with his head in the toilet.

Compression kills

I am so keyed up and aggravated right now. The next person to hand me a problem is going to get shanked. For real this time.

I'm on the verge of being crushed by the incalcuable pressure of deadlines and expectations and everyone else's needs, needs, needs. What part of a closed door do people not understand? Is it some kind of sign screaming "Hi! I'm so incredibly busy I can barely take the time to breathe, but please, by all means, take up my precious time by using me as a sounding board for your projects."?


I'm flailing jazz hands of disgust and offering middle fingers of contempt today. Free of charge.

No substitutions

Because today I'm too lazy - and busy...yes, too verrry busy - to post an involved update, you get Overheard goodness. You lucky thing.

10AM: In the Workplace, the "F" Stands for "Fudge"

Manager to employee: Amanda, WTF?
Employee: Did you just swear at me in acronym?

Vancouver
British Columbia
Canadia

via Overheard in the Office

Jun 9, 2008

Tranquility

Earlier today, to get away from my office and the burgeoning migraine that was threatening to form, I walked down to the harbor. I stood on the sea wall at the mid-way point and watched an unusually large school of small fish that looked like it stretched almost the entire length of the distance between me and the beach - about 10 to 12 feet. I kept an eye out for but didn't see the plovers that I've noticed on the sandbar recently. Earlier this week when I was out there I saw a horseshoe crab - for the first time in years. I was walking down the sea wall to get closer to the beach when I noticed a dark shape coming into the shallows. It was a large spotted eagle ray, followed by a slightly smaller ray right behind it. They swam a course of concentric circles for a couple of minutes, then disappeared back into the deeper waters of the harbor.

They look like this:

It was beautiful, but I was reminded of the fact that the last time I'd seen an eagle ray out there was a couple of years ago when we had a serious bout of red tide, and the sandbar was littered with the bodies of fish and stingrays. They had to bring a backhoe out and bury them all, there were so many and the stench was becoming so terrible. It started affecting sharks at one point, and I remember seeing sharks in distress showing up in channels and inlets, and it made the news a few times. We had a couple of incidents of bull sharks circling in the harbor for a few days around that time, too.

Parenting: a handy how-not-to guide

My husband is letting my son play Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. Despite my intense and vehement disapproval and dismay. He's forbidden the use of firearms in the course of the game (kind of defeating the point), but can't do anything about the language. He just initiated a cheat code that turns all of the pedestrians into Elvis, and my son thought we meant the kid in his class named Elvis. I wanted to make all of the pedestrians into ninjas during a thunderstorm, solely for my amusement. But it turns out they aren't *really* ninjas. Just generic Asian-looking characters wandering around carrying katanas. Who refuse to be struck by lightning! So that's kind of lame.

Since school is almost out (tomorrow is the last day), we've been letting the kid stay up kind of later than usual - last night he was up until almost eleven because he'd spent the afternoon in the pool and took a late nap. I spent a good part of the late afternoon and early evening curled up in my bed, too. For whatever reason I was totally exhausted, and I very rarely disappear when we have company, but I just had to sleep. (It couldn't have had anything to do with all the direct sun exposure I got...or the two glasses of Erdinger Hefe-Weizen dark in less than an hour.) My husband's family didn't seem to mind - NASCAR was on, and we have hi-def cable and a flat screen tv for everyone's amusement.


This is how I redeem myself - by making my child as offbeat and odd as myself. (He loves that shirt.)

Tomorrow is the last day of kindergarten, and a half-day, so the growned ups are also cutting out early (or, in the case of my husband, electing to not have a work day at all), and arranging something fun as a reward for a good school year. Starting next week we'll have to leave the house a half-hour earlier every morning to drop the boy off at summer camp and make it to work on time. This is going to be a nearly impossible task...and I predict it shall be the death of me.