Sheep can't climb ladders

So it seems I'm getting a promotion, of sorts. Mostly because they were between a rock and the proverbial hard place of being totally screwed without a budget person of any kind. Enter me, to save the day. It comes with a nifty title that sounds more authoratative than it really is, my own office with actual walls (and a door - oh joyuous happy day!), and maybe a few bucks thrown in for good measure. Did I mention I get my very own office? The perks! Ahhhh...

Alert! We interrupt this regularly scheduled blog post to bring you this news: Scrubs is on. They're playing Ok Go's Here It Goes Again. Captains wheel on the roof! Good idea, Pirate Janitor! Misses Zeebee! You know who that was, right?

How bout a little "Guy Love"?


This is courtesy of Zach's MySpace and is also posted on his blog.

*Ahem* Sorry. Now where was I...? Oh. My husband is putting drywall compund on one of the walls. And our couch fell apart. One whole side literally detached from the rest of it and went boom onto the floor. Time to buy a new couch <<< {singsong} We're still waiting for carpet, for the love of Pete. The endless waiting. I was supposed to go to Target and the craft store tonight for a menorah for the office & some various other things, but I'm whupped, so I'll do it over the weekend and have everything on Monday.

You can't spell pirate without "irate"

Ahoy mateys! Some pirates ended up in our harbor today. It was Arrrrrsome! Okay...so maybe they weren't exactly pirates. We aren't sure what they were, exactly. All I know is that the name of the rickety little vessel seemed to be in Greek, so I'm certain they were dread pirate shrimpers. Or, actually, looking more closely at the pictures I took, dread pirate spongers.
The first rule of pirate laws is: no one talks about pirate laws! Ye scurvey dawgs...

In other news - uh, I'll blog about the other news later. Oh my goodness.
UPDATE: The other news is one of the managers lost his patience last night with one of these trouble causing rabble-rausing students. I sat here past my usual quitting time to bear witness to the bone-headedness of this kid for placing a cell phone call (while in the process of discussing the results and consequences of his prior stupid behavior) and proceeding to talk sh*t about the process he was in the midst of and the person who is in charge of the process. Right outside the door of that person. This is so indicative of this generation of younger people: no common sense; no respect for authority; no sense of personal responsibility.

And M - I'll e-mail you that picture tomorrow. Pardone moi.

Corporate welfare

Today was a little rough. Lets not even speak of it. Many thanks to M for being a rock of stability and productiveness in the face of my panic. And for the chips. *hugs*

One of the co-workers is departing, and I have tentatively been tapped to replace her, but nothing's set in stone. And I would have a week to learn her system (I have a feeling I would need to make some changes, though, and tweak some things to suit myself). But - there may be a promise of more money. Emphasis on the maybe. There are changes coming. I just don't know if they're going to be to my benefit or not...

We're plugging away with the drywall and and compound/texture work on the walls at home. We should be able to paint this weekend, and the carpet has been scheduled for the end of next week. So, maybe my son can stop asking when we're going to get a Christmas tree. On a related note, what is up with the junk they're trying to sell to kids these days? Moon shoes? What kind of crap is that? I just don't get it. Is it that I'm old now? Is that why I think "moon shoes" are one of the most retarded toys ever?

Well, it's almost time for bed. Gotta get an early start to the day tomorrow - got a candidate to shepherd all over creation and lunch to pick up for a meeting (and YES I'm paying for it myself), so it'll be another long day. If anyone's wondering what to get me for Christmas this year, a biography about Marie Antoinette would be delightful. Or anything else you think I might like. I already know what I'm getting you. And by the way, if you haven't noticed, it's freaking HOT! In the 80's going into December? It's just unnatural! It's tough to be in a festive mood when you feel sweat tricling down your back while you're just walking from one building to another.

My stomachs growling, can ya feel me?

Happy Feast of Thanksgiving to all!

My son and I are currently occupied by watching the Macy's parade. Wow - Al Roker is a total spaz. But the floats and balloons are always fun to watch, and we can't wait to see Santa. I am highly anticipating dinner this afternoon, with a side of in-law drama. With my brother in-law gearing up to volunteer himself for military service, the conversation this year will be lively, to say the least.

There. And back again.

And one film to rule them all...and in the darkness (of the theater) bind them. Okay, okay. Up until now I've done my best to ignore all of those various internet rumors about a someday-maybe film version of The Hobbit. But, really, how can one turn a blind eye to the news of Peter Jackson being unceremoniously scuttled from a project that no one seems willing to openly admit is even in the process of being made? The Hobbit would rock. It royally would - but only if done right. The Hobbit is a simpler story - much more of a fantastical adventure tale for kids than the Ring novels were, and I hope that doesn't get lost in the translation down the line. I can think of a few directors that had better keep their stinkin' mitts offa my precioussss...

And now, because it's just a requirement any time we mention hobbitsesss...


And, of course, the classic...

Try to get that catchy little tune out of your head!

The greatest adventure is what lies ahead.

Maxims for maximized revolutionary revolutionists

I have a co-worker in one of our deparments who always acts harried and is always saying how busy she is. She reminds me of Alice's white rabbit, checking the clock and saying, to anyone who'll listen and sometimes to no one in particular, that she has so much to do. And yet she somehow has the time to go upstairs to HR constantly (it's all the way across campus, which means that those trips leave her office entirely empty and they don't seem to be work-related activities, either), and this morning had a whole thirty minutes to spare while going on and on with another co-worker about her upcoming wedding. She's a corporate ladder climber who's managed to have a lot of people fooled into thinking she's the proverbial bee's knees. But you know what they say about how you can only fool some of the people some of the time. There was a little dust-up over some religious talk between a couple of employees in the hallway last week (one of them was supposedly another one of my co-workers). We'll see what repercussions (if any) may await the parties involved. There's a lesson here, at any rate - when at work, it's always best to: Do your job and keep your personal opinions to yourself.
I've got two more projects being added to my growing list. And it seems as though I'll be the only person here over the Christmas holiday. That's nothing new - I've spent the last two winter breaks holding down the fort. Why? Because. Because why? Because...that's what's expected, I guess. And so it goes...

We have acrobats dressed as monkeys. But no monkeys dressed as acrobats.

"Look, mom! I'm delicious..."

Yesterday was the little guy's first ever trip to a Disney theme park. We took him to Animal Kingdom to start his exposure off slow - I thought the Magic Kingdom would be a little bit too much for him, and I'd never been to Animal Kingdom before anyway. The dinosaur ride was a lot of fun (except for my sister being curled up in a ball for the whole ride), but we didn't ride anything else since A) most of the lines were almost an hour and a half long and B) I'm a weenie, and I didn't want to ride Expedition Everest. My son had such a great day. He was pretty good for the most part - he got to play, have his picture taken with Pooh Bear, Eeyore and Tigger, and eat an italian ice while watching a Finding Nemo stage show, then, as the highlight of the day, he got to have his picture taken with Mickey Mouse (we snuck into the line after it was already closed - such wanton rule breakers we are...). He also got the requisite mouse ears, and a Lightning McQueen car as his treat for being so good. Before we left we watched the Lion King show, which was kind of neat. It was after closing time when we headed home and it was quite cold and later than I'd planned, but it was still a good day. I'd like to plan to go to DisneyWorld after he turns five. Wanna go?

We've got a cold front going through now, and my wardrobe isn't up to this challenge. Of course, it's supposed to warm up a little in time for the Thanksgiving holiday. We're working steadily onward with the house projects. We're running out of time, so we're going to hustle and get a lot done over the long weekend coming up. Cleaning, painting, patching - all of it.

Missing: one cordless house phone. Reward: my undying gratitude. How does a person manage to lose a house phone? I've been racking my brain since yesterday, and I still can't figure out where it ended up.

It's okay if you want to drop dead

Good gracious I'm exhausted. There was a point earlier today that I felt like I could have lapsed into unconciousness at any moment. I took a jaunt over to the B&N with Megi to patronize their "faux" Starbucks for some fresh air and a frappucino. See, we were misled. They told us we were getting a Starbucks. A real Starbucks. But what we really got was a B&N Cafe serving "Starbucks products". But - a frappucino is a frappucino any way you shake it, and I did buy another book, Relic by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child. It was made into a movie with Penelope Miller several years ago. The musem setting makes it creepy, the science makes it awesome. Megi would concur...

I just wasted a good bit of time updating my MySpace and adding a nifty new music player that allows you to make a playlist. And in the process of looking through some archived favorites I found some some cool things to add some pizazz to this here blog, as well. I may even post MP3's in the future. How scandalous!

Now, if you don't mind, The Office is on, and I find myself in need of a tall glass of Jim. Then, I have dishes that need doing.

The undecipherable dots are my favorite part!

Tonight I had a night out at an event at a local museum featuring the works of artist Salvador Dali with Megi and her friend Katie. We decided to go over to the sandwich and beer pub across the street and have, well...sandwiches and beer, before walking over to the museum. When we got to the museum we discovered they had sandwiches. And beef empanadas. And little cakes. But, most importantly, they had sangria. And it was good (I had three cups...it's okay, they were very small...). The big boss was there. I choked on a piece of my litle coconut cake when I spotted her coming in the door. Then I got another little cup of sangria, and I was fine. We didn't take part in the tour, but judging by the "And whatnot. And such" that the tour guide kept spouting it was probably just as well. She did not seem to have the gifts of eloquence or public speaking, so her career choice baffles me. We stood in the front of the gallery mostly staring at the three largest paintings on display - the most famous of which being the Hallucinogenic Toreador. Now, Dali was a prolific artist and is quite famous - I think the melting clocks are iconic, and I'm sure you'd agree - but, I'm not a big fan of surrealism. My lack of enthusiasm for the artist aside, I really enjoyed going out tonight. Today's work hours were consumed by payroll issues *again* and I'm wound tighter than a spring in a backwards running clock (see how I tied that all together...), so I needed a little diversion.

That's your answer for everything

I still have that stomach ache from last week. And as an added bonus, this weekend I started taking medication with side effects of stomach ache, nausea, and general tummy trouble. This is gonna be a baaad week for me. I get in to work this morning, and find paperwork for someone else's hardly-earned stipend on my desk with a big question mark on it, asking what do I know about this. The thing is, I don't know, I don't want to know. The other thing I don't know is how that person is getting a stipend when they don't even do their job right? I spent all of last week solving problems and doing work because they were out. I'm still waiting for my wage equity and job responsibilities problems to be resolved - while I do other people's work for them. Because it's what's expected.

Then I got an angry call from a student demanding to know why she only got a couple hundred dollars in her pay check, and saying that if I didn't figure out the problem and have a check for her by Wednedsday, then she would stop working. What follows is entirely internal dialogue: Fine by me sweety - I'm not your boss and you're not my problem. I couldn't care less if you worked another day or not. I don't personally care if you don't get paid. The department full of idiots you work in can sort it out. Actually, payroll isn't in my job descritption, and you're damn lucky that I had one nice bone left in my body that I even made sure that you were paid anything at all. Trust me, if I had left it up to the department, it would have been even more screwed up.
I tranfered her into the head of the totally ass-backward department that she works for, then I turned off my computer and I went home. That's where I am right now.

Some guy just knocked on my door wanting to sell me steaks. Steaks??

IM IN UR [noun] [verb] ING UR [noun]

Megi insists that I update. So, onward with the mundane whatevers. I've had an upset stomach for two freaking days. Pity on me. Bleh. Buuuut - three day weekends are rather nice, even if I haven't been feeling a hundred percent. We took the opportunity to go to breakfast and do some early Christmas shopping without the boy, although we didn't really buy much. And my husband had a meeting today that gives him a lot to think about. It's up to him to make the decision that will make him happy and be best for his family. It always seems like when the rare opportunity knocks for us, it nearly beats down the door. Lunch today was...uh, interesting. The tone of the conversation was an eye opener, as always. Also, might I somewhat proudly state, I have dutifully avoided the temptation of soda beverages for a week. Too bad the same can't be said for alcohol or coffee. Starbucks is my own personal drug of choice these days. I honestly can't pass a Starbucks now without mentally going "Mmmm....caramel frappuchino" and feeling the irresistable pull of the caramel and caffeine combo. Lip smacky goodness, that is.

And the episode of The Office was great last night. Jim's faxes to Dwight from the future! How can you beat that one? You can't. You just can't...and he's going back to Scranton...to Scranton... (sung quietly to the tune of "Going Back to Cali" by LL Cool J, natch.)

It's for the birds...

I just sat in on a meeting where a part of the time was spent discussing the anticipated Avian Influenza Pandemic. I felt like I had been transported back in time a couple of years. Since this was a slow year for other natural disasters (hurricane free in '06!), now we're back to the bird flu. Apparently, the two hundred or so laboratory confirmed cases of human infection worldwide have resulted in a roughly fifty percent mortality rate. Over three years. Wait. Three whole years? Okay, that's where I put away my panic face for another, more appropriate, time. Let me go cancel that biohazard suit I just ordered. And it's still being determined if the virus is even communicable from person to person yet, or just by infected bird to human transimission. Let me just say that the bird flu has nothing on HIV/AIDS. They (meaning the bird flu's "people") need to step up their marketing strategy a little if they want it to become THE epidemic of this generation.

The clean smell of kids who know they rule the world.

So my state has a new (possibly ambiguously gay, but who cares really) Governor in Charlie Crist. Good for us. Except, he vows to continue on with Jeb's education and economic policies. So - bad for us. Actually, I've met Governor Crist before, and he seems like a nice guy. The Dems took the House (makes me imagine them storming the House of Representatives with pitchforks and torches), and a couple of wins may still swing the Senate in their favor. We got crazy man Bill Nelson as a Senator, but that was better than the alternative of "My Skin Is Stretched So Tight Over My Endoskeletal Structure That The Seams Might Burst Here On National TV In This Debate As I Tilt My Head In My Best Impression Of A Simple Human Gesture" Katherine Harris. She's an alien. And Rhonda Storms. She of the legislated morality and infamous hairlip. What else can I say, but WTF were you people in Hillsborough thinking, voting that witch-burner into the Senate? Don't you know she's made it her life's work to tell everyone else how to live their lives?! Is that what you really want? Okay, but you're next, sinners! My in-laws think Rhonda's neat-o. "She knows how to get things done" they say. "So did Hitler" says I.

Yonder into the infinite sucking void

Everyone around me seems to be succumbing to some sickness that leads to upper respiratory infections. I'm one day away from stringing garlic around my desk to ward off whatever this is. I also love how some of them have decided that since I'm not *ahem* sick (supposedly) I'd love nothing more than to do their work for them. Work which should have and could have been done last week, when they weren't suffering from the campus equivalent of the plague. I have realized today that the co-workers across the hall are really loud and obnoxious sometimes. I don't need to hear them yelling and braying like asses in addition to the ding*ding of the elevator all day long. Have some courtesy, people, and use your inside voices. As we like to tell my son when he gets a little too wound up.

This weekend my husband and I finished the drywall on the one doorway, and I helped pull up the rest of the old floor moulding. We ordered a front door and the new carpet (it's Mohawk!). Both will be installed sometime this month, I believe. Let me tell you - if you ever want to truly test a relationship, do a few home improvement projects. If you make it to the completion stage still together, you can survive almost anything. I went to see Pete Yorn in concert on Sunday night with my mom. Not my cup o' tea, but it wasn't bad. I got a kick out of watching the bass player act as backup singer with a cigarette dangling from his lips most of the night. I also amused myself by people watching. The beer was flowing at the bar, and judging by the smell the hash was being passed with abandon, so I watched a couple of patchouli and hemp festooned hippies twirl and a big beefy drunk guy dance around with a couple of ladies that were my mom's age but definitley attempting to seem younger. At one point beefy-man was doing a dance that I decided to mentally christen "The Elvis". It defies description. Trust me. Toward the end of the night some girls were dancing in front of the stage on the other side of the barricade. Security hadn't done anything up to this point, so my mom decided to go up there to get some pictures. About ten seconds later I see her come scurrying out surrounded by a bunch of laughing girls being chased by a security guard in a bright yellow shirt. Way to go mom. Pete seemed a little bummed by the sudden departure of the dancing fan girls, but the show went on. And on. And on...

Our weekly dinner with the Millers has been planned for tonight. It's back to Carmelita's. That means sangria - by the pitcher. It's like a tradition. {Five of us managed to polish off two whole pitchers this time. A record that's just begging to be broken.}

File this one uder Crazy People Follow Me Wherever I Go: While in the restroom at work today, some lady two stalls down who had walked in a second after I did says out of nowhere "I already wish it was Thursday". While she was peeing! I waited a second to see if she was on a cell phone (which is equally weird, imho). Nothing. I didn't know this woman, so I didn't say anything, and waited for her to leave first to avoid any strange awkwardness. Who attempts a conversation with a complete stranger while you're both doing your business in the john? Megi and I sometimes talk in the lav, but we know each other. It's still a little odd, even then I suppose. Just not as outright bizarre. I guess some men might be comfortable with this but their bathroom etiquette (and the circumstances of how they go about their business) is a little different. But I'm not a man, so I think it's creepy.

Six degrees of bringing home the bacon

Wow. Sometimes I think that full disclosure in higher ed in the state I work in can be awfully inconvenient. And then, I read articles about misappropriation and excess by university presidents in other states. All I can say is...wow. This point was made on a forum in response: "As universities are forced to operate more and more like corporations, guess what? Presidents are going to be more like CEOs than education administrators". I've been saying that for a couple of years. So much for "It's the students, stupid". Now speaking of higher ed...if you can rate your professor, why can't they rate their students? Oh, wait. They can. It's those novel things called "grades".

And stoned profs are the best! (Hint - to play the clip, select your video preference and click save)

Why do I find Borat funny? I mean - "Anoos" -- it's just sooo wrong. And yet.. *chuckle* Here's to hoping that this shtick will burn itself out pretty quickly, though. The "Niiiice" and "high five" catch phrases are wearing thin on me already.

Pony. The other, other white meat.

Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to write newsbriefs...
So apparently CNN is branching out. Now they're seeking opinion pieces from celebrities. Their new ad campaign will go something like "CNN - Now with more fluff to balance out your full day's serving of not-quite news!" Although, I guess it's still better than Fox News with "All missing white chicks all the time" when they're not war mongering or running propaganda pieces.
I did so love the editor's note at the top of the article, though: Willie Nelson is a legendary singer and songwriter. His new CD is called "Songbird." I'm sure that was for all of those young wippersnapper fifteen year olds who regularly read (or watch) CNN, who would look at that picture on the left of the page and ask "Who the eff is the old dude?". Yep. Sure. I do agree with almost every point he makes, however - as anyone who knows me is aware of how much I love horses. And llamas. And goats. And livestock in general. Did you know that the human hormone replacement drug PreMarin is a derivative of pregnant mare urine where the mares used in the manufacture of the drug are constantly kept pregnant throughout their lifetime, and that the by product of those pregancies is unwanted foals, many of them bound for slaughter? The more you know...

Bender: Today, I've personalised each of your meals. For example, Amy, you're cute, so I baked you a pony.

Got a story. Wrote a blog about it.

Something funny happened this afternoon. One of the lower admins came over to talk to the boss. While she was there, she got a call on her cell phone, so the boss says to her, without thinking "Get your vibtrator...I mean..." Then, she walks out to take her call, and he's laughing so hard he literally fell out of his chair. While knocking things off his desk. And he somehow managed to either hit the wall or the desk, dislodging a clock from the wall in the office next door. Oh. My. God.

Before all of this went down, though, I had the chance to talk to the boss about some things. He confirmed some suspisions and alleviated some fears. I just have a hard time watching the administrative gears grinding sometimes. Especially when it seems like they're more like spinning wheels. I have payroll issues to resolve come tomorrow. *this is where I'd put the sad smiley*

My husband is pretty excited about an upcoming opportunity (that sort of reads like a crappy on-line tarot reading...I am my own Miss Cleo -- "Call me now"!).


We're making some progress on the home-demolition projects that are supposed to be finished by the beginning of December. Will they be finished? Let me consult my crystal ball...