Of human sacrifice

I cut myself on envelopes several times today while preparing employee W-2 forms for distribution. I even managed to cut my lip while sealing one. I hope the IRS is happy - they got my money, and today they also got my blood.

To be completely honest...

...Sometimes I really hate my job.

Dinner music.

Our anniversary dinner was spent at a very nice little hole-in-the-wall Italian restaurant. The food was fabulous, and you can always tell if you're in a good, authentic Italian eatery - the people in the kitchen are speaking the language and the whole place smells like garlic and olive oil. Our waitress was the owner's daughter, and she said they make everything fresh from scratch. This was not the mass produced stuff like they serve at Carrabba's, for sure. Our new resolution is to eat in non-chain restarants as much as possible. The only unfortunate thing about dinner was the surly elderly man sitting at the table behind my husband. He was the most miserable human being I think I've ever encountered - he had absolutely nothing nice to say about anything. And he did it as loudly and as crudely as he possibly could. He was rude to the waitress. He was mean to the elderly lady having dinner with him. I heard her tell their waitress that he was not her husband, so what the relationship was between them and why she was out in public with the old crusty bastard, I can't even begin to fathom. My husband nicknamed him "Archie Bunker". After dinner we didn't go see a movie. Or walk around the mall. Or even go pier fishing in the cold, drizzly evening (the husband's idea of a romantic night...). Instead, we went home and watched a movie that turned out to not be that funny. But it was a nice change of pace, anyway.

Tomorrow's Monday - already?

Holding on by on a ring and a prayer.

I've been going around for weeks thinking that my 5th wedding anniversary is tomorrow. Turns out is was TODAY. Don't I feel dumb! My husband remembered, and we have plans for tomorrow. Maybe a nice dinner and a movie. I was thinking we'd go see either Night at the Museum (for the T-Rex and some cheap laughs) or maybe Smokin' Aces (for the ensemble cast and arbitrary violent content). If I had my way, we'd be going to see Children of Men, but I don't think my husband would really appreciate the nuances of the story. I think I'd appreciate the nuances of Clive Owen, to be sure. And right now I'm playing "Where on the internet is Megan?". I think I've lost her trail...Wait, wait. I think I've spotted her.

Am I one of these obnoxious people? I don't think I'm quite hip or trendy enoughto be a "hipster", but I may be self-absorbed, middle class and (barely) young enough be termed an "alterna-yuppie". Lets see...listening to bands no one else I know has heard of - check...chunky glasses - check...band tee - check...slouchy posture - check...ironic accesories featuring skulls and hello kitty purchased at stores such as Claires and Hot Topic - check. Yeah. Totally.

"I used to be with it. But then they changed what it was. Now what I'm with isn't it, and what's it seems scary and weird. It'll happen to you!" ~ Grandpa Simpson

I bought a novel from the dollar store titled Nosferatu. It's a fictional account of the life of the director of the silent film. It's a very slim book published in large type, so it shouldn't take very long to read. Also, since it was a dollar I won't be too pissed if it sucks. I'm also still reading Michael Chrichton's global warming denial novel, State of Fear (global warming seems to be the de rigueur hot button issue these days - thanks Al Gore!). It's so slowly paced. Which means it's boring. Chrichton does make some valid ponts, though, and he actually cites sources and references. So that's refreshing. If a little dull...

A few drinks, some saucy remarks

Dinner with the Millers tonight. Also known as TMI Wednesday (unless we have dinner with them some other night of the week - then it's known as TMI [insert day of the week - preferably a day beginning in "t" because then you have alliteration! - here]...).

One of the admins who works over in another department in my building keeps hassling me because he wants to read my blog. I accidently let slip that I had a blog during a conversation with some of my co-workers that he was a party to. His first reaction was "You're the last person I'd figure would have a blog". I'm not entirely sure what he meant by that. Then he asked how to find it. And he keeps asking. Every time he sees me. And my response is very vague - "it's on the internet..." - but he hasn't gotten the hint. Now it's sort of a personal joke for him to ask when he sees me in the hall, and he acts like he's trying to trick me into telling him - "Hey, Maus, what's the name of your blog, again, www.somethingsomething?". Personally, it's getting annoying. This is a (mostly) anonymous thing that I do here. There are only a few people that I've directed here to partake in my little corner of the internet. I certainly wouldn't have someone I work with read my posts that feature me making fun of the other people I work with.


I want to blog about the State of the Union (what, pray tell, does Global Warming have to do with the price of tea in China, so to speak? *also, see my oh so timely post from yesterday*) and watching American Idol with the sound off at the gym last night but I guess that'll have to wait until later. Ciao.

People can relate to polar bears

Oh no! Global warming! It's here! Won't somebody please think of the polar bears?

...Wait. Hasn't global warming already been here? And, in case you didn't know, bears aren't as sweet as people seem to want to think. The numbers don't lie ("This is bear *country...we can't stop here...")!

Look at the fangs!!

We've dropped anchor, but have yet to hit bottom.

William Randolph Hearst, always in search of sensational stories, once sent a telegram to a leading astronomer: "Is there life on Mars?" it read. "Please cable 1000 words."
The astronomer's reply? "Nobody knows" - repeated 500 times. (source: anecdotage.com)

I'm all alone here. One co-worker is taking an (apparently extended) leave of absence, and the other won't be here until later this week, for whatever reason. The boss had a meeting across the bridge. And, of course, M is in class. It's all blustery outside and it feels like rain. I had a terrible lunch experience today involving our cafeteria, which still has me grossed out. I've already told this story too many times today. Lets just say I'll never eat there again. And I mean it this time...

Caffeine via osmosis.

It's Monday. Again. Yawwwnnnnn. Need. Coffee.

Lets get one thing straight. I hate when people stand outside of my open office door and talk loudly about deeply personal things. Okay - you had a disagreement with your girlfriend over the weekend after a conversation involving ex's. Check. I'll file that away with all of the other pointless information I've become privy to about people I barely know.
The Bears and the Colts will face off in the Superbowl, which is awesome! The Colts/Pats game was nervewracking, at the end. New episodes of Battlestar Galactica are on, starting last night. The producers have said this seaon is going to tick off some fans (read: things are not as they seem, and major characters - and story lines - will culminate in an untimely end). To that I say "hoorah"!
I hate the DVR system with my new cable. The DirecT/TiVo combo was so much better, I don't understand why my husband insisted on switching just for a few hi def channels that we could have gotten if we'd gotten the hi def sattelite tuner. And the way he has the switcher set up is unnecessarily complicated. I've seen the picture pixelite a few times already, like there was an interruption in the signal, which we hardly ever got with the sattelite - even though my husband swears that the cable won't go out as often as the DirecTv (which, like I said, hardly ever happened). The first time the cable goes out because of a few heavy clouds and a sprinkle you'll be able to palpably feel the smugness from the mental "I-told-ya-so's".

we sleep inside of this machine

I got an unexpected call from China yesterday (the country - not the wrestler). It sounded like my old acquaintance was calling me from a giant tin can. It turns out he was calling me on his laptop. We talked about culture shock and strange edibles (he had recently dined on chicken feet, which I figure is no worse than pickled pigs feet or the equally unpalatable hog maws...), and traveling. He asked me how things were going here, in between my responses of "What? I didn't catch that..." when the static got bad or what he said came out all muffled, and I gave him all of the most recent gossip and happenings. It was a nice chat. Like I said - quite unexpected.

This was on Cuteoverload today. It's hard to believe that sweet precious little cub will grow up to be a beautiful natural born killing machine.


I don't have plans this weekend. It's a shame. But maybe lack of plans will bring about motivation. Then again, that doesn't seem to be the case every other weekend. I am starting to see a busy couple of months ahead of me though. My boss agreed to let me go to a seminar in March, which is also when M and I are playing hooky and going to Orlando for a concert and a bit of fun (I got the tickets this past weekend, by the way). Lately I have found myself watching 30 Rock after Scrubs (was I the only one a little disappointed by the much hyped musical episode last night?) . I love the character of Kenneth - of course, it recently came to my attention that Jack McBrayer pretty much played the same character in Talladega Nights. And as far as that movie is concerned, the best parts were the kids, especially the little red headed boy playing "Texas Ranger" (one of my favorite lines: "I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew!"). Changing the subject now, I have a strong inclination to go out this weekend and look for the new album by the band Brand New, titled The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me. They'll be in town for a show in April. Time to rally my posse of peeps. What? You mean I don't have a posse of peeps? Well...can I borrow yours? I'll make sure I give them back in one piece...

The breakdown

I'm having a terrible day so far. It started with the incident involving a thermos full of milk, the new carpet in the living room and the cat. Needless to say, I had to clean up a mess. Which made me late for work. Then, as I was tossing the towels I used to clean up the milk puddle out onto the back porch, the dog (who is badly in need of a good bath) decided that she desperately had to go out right at that moment, and brushed up against my leg as she was storming out the back door. Leaving a huge swath of dust and sand across my left pant leg. So. I had to change not only my pants, but my top and shoes as well. Making me even more late for work. Add to that the fact that one of my co-wokers is out for several days due to a family crisis, and my boss is looking for a letter he had her format before she left - which is probably locked in her desk. And she has the key. He doesn't seem very happy with our desk locking culture. I tried to explain that confidential information has to be made secure, but it didn't seem to help his mood much. I think things overall are starting to get ot him. And I think to myself "Join the club...".

M is feeling sicky, so she's not here. If she doesn't feel better later we won't go on our adventure to Weedon Island this evening. The good news is: For the time being I'm all alone here. And "Fully Alive" is playing on my computer.

Hate, rage and venom keep me looking young and feeling great.

My co-worker was supposed to order me a ream of legal paper. Instead, she ordered a case of letter size paper. And seems confused about how it happened. I'm having one of those days. The kind of day that brings on an eye-twitch and an Excedrine headache of massive proportions. If the boss gives this person the job full time I think I'll have to commit hari-kari & go total office ninja all over the place.

But anyway...My new obsessions: Pandora (it's free, and better than Launch), and the band Flyleaf. It reminds me of the kind of music I would have made had I been the lead singer of a band in high school. I'm currently reading Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. It's full of dry British humor. And a lot of references to tea.

Evil has a new...oh, never mind.

My husband is watching the 60 Minutes feature on President Bush. I have never realized what an ill-spoken mush-mouth that man really is, but it really seems to come to the surface when he's giving an unscripted interview. He comes off as a red-neck good old boy through most of it. An ivy league educated good old boy from a family of priviledge, of course. An incongruous combination. Oh, he just referred to himself as the "Educator in Chief". So that explains the sorry state of our public education system! Really - cows mooing sound more intelligent. Sorry if I just insulted some cows...


I spent a small fortune on books last week. I just finished reading Reliquary by Lincoln Child and Douglas Preston. I had part of the ending figured out by the middle of the book, and this one was a lot more greusome than Relic was - but overall it was an entertaining way to pass some of my free time over the last few days. I have two more books in my unread pile, as well as The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy that I'm still working my way through, slowly. I'm glad to have a three day weekend - we've gotten a few things accomplished around the house and I've been able to relax a little, too. I have to enjoy it, since we won't have another holiday until May. But coming up I have my 5th wedding anniversary (I gave strong hints that I'd like to go out to dinner and to a hockey game that night), and some activities planned with M. Another co-worker is leaving - got a promotion into another department, somehow. She wants to go to lunch, since we never were very social. Uh huh. There's kind of a reason for that, but I tend to think that the statement was meant more as an empty gesture and I won't have to feel obligated to have lunch. At least, I can hope.

Interlopers!

The new Governor is making his new official non-state-capitol office in my building. Basically right over my head. They had to scurry and move some people out of the second-floor President's suite with the lovely water views, to make room for him and his staff. This development will bring press attention, and possibly protestors. Won't that be fun?! So everyone should be on their best behavior. Whatever your best behavior may be...

We went out to dinner with one of my husband's friends last night. They embarass the crap out of me sometimes, but it was a nice change and it was funny seeing his son make my son erupt into spontaneous fits of giggles.

And my nominee for silly yet intruigeingly (or however that is supposed to be spelled) innovative idea of the millenia is whoever came up with this:
"Stamps released in China to celebrate the Year of the Pig taste of sweet and sour pork.When you scratch the front of the stamps, they smell of the popular Chinese dish. When the back of a stamp is licked, it tastes of the dish too.The stamps are on sale in China ahead of their New Year on February 18" (source: iol.co.za)

*More ninja style then samurai style, and a little on the long side. And the conclusion is a little...messy. But otherwise, do you ever have one of those days? I know I sure do...

Er...ahem - not that I'm advocating workplace violence. Nothing of the sort.

Suffering from Mother Nature's meteorological schizophrenia

8888 100th Post!! 7777

This weather is just effed up, to the Nth degree. It's warm, then it's cold for a day, then it warms up...no wonder everyone is sick.

So, according to some people I still talk to at my old job they got some new management. That new management group then decided a departmental restructure was in order. The result: corporate downsizing. A large number of people I used to work with are unemployed, as of March. Now I'm glad I didn't stay (on top of all of the other reasons I'm glad I didn't stay - no more overnights; no more working weekends and every holiday...et cetera, et cetera, et cetera). It makes my current job seem downright cushy, and secure by comparison. I often say it would take an act of Congress to terminate me. Or a cyborg from the future sent by Skynet after it becomes self aware. But, hey. That could be fun, too, in a way. In a running, screaming, being chased by cyborgs kind of way.

I'm currently engrossed in reading Michael Chrichton's new novel, Next. I had sworn off Crichton many years ago after reading the debacle that was Congo (I'm sorry, but I was a teenager when I read that book, and even then I thought it was junk - the movie adaptation even more so), and more recently because of what has been written of his opinion on the scientific validity of the Global Warming phenomenon. But this book is interesting. To say the least. It is current and topical and full of insight into the growing "business" of biogenetics. He takes creative license and stretches the reality of gene theraphy and transgenics just a wee bit, but it is a work of fiction so I expected to snort at a couple of the scenarios outlined in the book. But, in all, it's engaging and paced pretty well. I want to find out what happens to Gerard the parrot - obviously based in no little part on Alex. *Update*: The ending was flat, and a little of a disappointment after all of the buildup of the plot lines. I am now all revved up to read the Douglas Preston/Lincoln Child sequel to Relic, titled Reliquary.

Reminds me of that song by Styx. No, no. The other one.

Someone stole one of our sailboats the other night. Apparently it's as easy as stealing a car...assuming you know how to operate a boat. I point the finger of blame at those pirate spongers from a few weeks back. I think it may have been found/returned, though, since there were three boats out by the dock this morning. I have training all day today *in a late breaking development since this was posted, the training was boring and I skipped the second session*. This is going to be a very long day. I'll need some form of stimulant to keep me alert. Maybe coffee. No time for Fauxbucks, so the office tar will have to do. And they had us print out a 77 page manual for this.

I just learned the other day that there is a quaint Canadian term for my style of irrelevant blogging:

Washing the undies: n.
Blogging about the most tedious, minute, personal non-events.

A Spider Darkly

And more of the same, for your viewing pleasure...

Fluffernutter!

I just like to say that word. And PB + mallowcreme = Mmmmmm. Can you tell it's getting close to lunch time? On a side note I got an e-mail at work today that said the following (certain portions highlighted for effect): "I will also be bring down paperwork in just a few regarding a new hire that I just find out about." I knwo it's hard to tell - English really is this person's first language. Seriously.

I'm working on the details of my trip with M to ORL to see Ok Go (opening for Snow Patrol) at the Hard Rock in a couple of months. The plan is to hit up Islands of Adventure earlier in the day. Plus, the hotel deal I have my eye on includes a complimentary CityWalk party pass. What could be better? Ah, alcohol, how you soothe my latent angst.

By the way - Pat Robertson says God talks to him, and fancies himself a prophet. Myself, I would call him a fearmongering asshat and I wish his lord would tell him to shut the hell up already. The worst thing is that people actually listen to him. Can't they tell he's a megalomaniacal nutbag?

MSN released their totally useless and utterly banal "Year in Review" lists. If you're the easily entertained type you may find this a great way to pass some free time...

Meet the new year. Same as the old year.

This is how my coworker summed up the end of 2006: “What’s his name got hung. James Brown died.” And don't forget, Gerald Ford was eaten by wolves. He was delicious.

For me the beginning of 2007 is just a continuation of where 2006 left off. I don't feel any new beginnings - just more of the same drudgery. None of that bright, shiny newness. The two holiday breaks were nice, but they (along with this grey, dreary weather) reinforced my antipathy towards my current employment situation even more. I've got to start playing the lotto. Gambling is the way to the American Dream, I tell ya!

In other 2007 news, the French are silly and have too much time on their hands. And we gots a new Governor, guv'nah! I really hope he does something about this homeowners insurance issue, since we were issued a notice of non-renewal on our policy right before Christmas. How's that for some holiday cheer, eh?

Post Script: I watched a special on the French Revolution last night on History International, and now I want more (but that does not include reading A Tale of Two Cities) -- Viva la Revolution!