The more things change

One of my departing colleagues just dropped off a thank you card for me. It's nice to know that the things I do that seem to be unnoticed by management are at least appreciated by my peers. Or actually, former peers. I was talking to the boss's assistant the other day, and she's fairly new, so we got on the subject of all of the turnover and how it affects staff productivity and "morale". The result was it seems to affect other people in the organization, throwing them off kilter and disrupting their ability to function. I don't quite understand this. To me it's no big deal. But I used to work in TV production, where whole departments were eliminated in the course of a day and half your crew could just walk out one night. Or your coworker could show up wasted and end up passed out in the breakroom leaving you to handle several hours of a live broadcast while the supervisor tried to make sure your shiftmate wasn't in jail or dead in a gutter somewhere. The halcyon days of live retail television broadcast production are well behind me, but the effects of the experience I gained (and the changes it manifested in me as a person) still linger. Some valuable lessons I was able to take away with me, that help me function on multiple levels:

1) Turnover happens. You'll just have to do more with less, and hopefully it won't be a long term situation. But if it is, parlay it into a way to showcase your organizational and leadership skills - management loves that crap. They'll eat it with a spoon from the palm of your hand.

2) I can handle just about anything. Once you've dealt with swing shift sleep deprivation, had a producer call you stupid and a supervisor throw things at you, survived the resident harpy host's withering glance of death only to win her over by bringing fresh coffee and become one of a handful of people she trusts to be competant enough to allow anywhere near her, endured the people you work with reinacting middle school by making scathing fun of everything about you en mass and learned to see the humor in it and join in yourself...well, a lot of personal growth happened during those times. Not to mention working a very physically and emotionally intense job while heavily pregnant, actually going into labor at work, and insiting on finishing out my shift and driving myself home while having contractions. So, yeah. I'm stronger than I give myself credit for, and I can deal.

3) Stressful situations can lead to bonding. The bonding can be a boon by creating friendships and reinforcing a support system, but sometimes that bonding is a little too intense and can lead to an unhealthy reliance on or expectation of another person. You need to be able to recognize the signs of bonding gone wrong and correct the course before it goes too far or irreperable damage is done.

4) No one is perfect. You can like someone personally and still think they suck at their job. And someone can be and do all the things you despise in their personal life and still be the best at what they do on the job.

So I'm here all alone for the next two days. Good thing I brought Neverwhere with me. And there's always the internet...

In stasis

I originally drafted this Monday night, and lost interest halfway through. I'm resurrecting it to have something to do.

The facts of reality as I know it right now: It is kind of cold outside (this is a relative kind of cold, so don't start in on your tales of snow and blah blah blah). My knee hurts (I fell outside of my son's school today and skinned my hand, my elbow, and one of my knees pretty bad...plus I bruised my fragile ego by taking a tumble in public). And I want to go to Pennsylvania. As in now. Tomorrow. Next week. Whenever I can.

M got me some awesome gifts. I swear, she knows me better than anyone. And she is more than a little psychic, I'm sure of it. How else would she have chosen to buy me Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere, even though I'd never mentioned the book to her, and at the exact time it was on the Christmas list I gave to my husband? Uncanny!

The Golden Compass was actually not bad. They left out a large portion of the more controversial elements, and the story was kind of choppy and hard to follow, but it wasn't the worst movie I've paid to see. (the first book was compressed into the first twenty minutes or so of exposition, then the meat of the film encompassed most of the second book) *edited because I think I was misinformed and passing bad plot info...my bad!*

The best part:

There was one scene that affirmed the film's PG-13 rating. It was intense.

I'd like to see I Am Legend. But it has zombie/vampire things, so I probably won't go to see it due to not having anyone to go with me and my love/paralyzing fear realtionship issues with zombies. Vampires make me laugh, though, so if they're more the latter than the former I may be able to handle it.

It's a week before Christmas Eve. Two weeks before the impending new year. I hope everyone one is as full of mixed emotions as I am.

My new coworker got me a gift card to B&N, so that way I can either get more books or some Fauxbucks if the mood strikes me. It was incredibly thoughful and I felt awful that I had decided not to give gifts to the coworkers this year. And speaking of books - I just finished The God of Animals by Aryn Kyle. What an amazing novel - on par with The Lovely Bones as far as the tones of overwhelming tragedy and loss, though. I've been struggling through an obscure story by H.G. Wells and started The Time Traveler's Wife (which has me thoroughly befuddled a few chapters in). I may put them both aside and start on Neverwhere tonight, once my chores are done.

In other news, the closing of my son's school will be delayed at least a year. Our school board is a mess. And four members of the board believe that Intelligent Design should be taught in county classrooms. Sometimes I think I'd like to move somewhere else before permanant damage is done to the logic centers in my son's still developing brain by the strangers "looking out for his best interests".

It's not like these are society's brightest and best...

In light of the fact that I have done some tweaking to my link lists and content, I thought I'd share something from the To Do List blog.

A list of possible screen names. The list includes such gems as:

Resident Zombie
Lord of the Hobbits

...actually, those were the two best. Only because they reference either zombies or hobbits. And they sound like failed band name ideas. The rest were horrrrible. I mean, they certainly can't compare to Urban Flood or Zombie Apocalypse. Those are all mine, baby.

Feel free to read the lamer offerings on the list.

The party's here on the West side.

Courtesy of The Jingler website, which claims to be able to turn any song into a Christmas tune (mostly via intermittant jingly jangly sleigh bell sounds), I give you Bat For Lashes "What's A Girl To Do", Christmas 2007 Edition (press the arrow below to play):



Upload your favorite songs and add some jing at The Jingler.

Also, in honor of the swiftly approaching holiday, here's one of my absolute favorite scenes from Invader Zim's Most Horrible X-mas Ever:



As an update to my previous post, I went to the party, took some food, and went back to my office. I was later informed that in my absence I had won one of the big door prizes. Not a t-shirt. A three night hotel stay at one of the local "luxury" hotels. So, my employer just gave me my anniversary present. Maybe it's a sign of my luck turning around? Or not.

My son amended his list for Santa today. It is now composed of a jet (toy or actual pilotable jet, he declined to clarify); a pet snake (WTF - the kid is afraid of lizards!); and a toy mouse (again - what??). I asked him if he had a choice would he pick those things over the bike he originally asked Santa for a month ago, and his answer was a minute of silence and then "Well...no. I think I want a bike." Silence, and I think this conversation is over, and then he adds "And a pet snake." I had to tell him that Santa has a policy of not transporting live animals in his sleigh. They scare the reigndeer. Now, if he had asked for a puppy, I would have no doubt caved. Just don't tell my husband...

For M...sorry I couldn't get you this for Christmas, but it was a little out of my price range - a single leatherbound copy of The Tales of Beeble the Bard, handwritten and illustrated by J.K. Rowling, recently sold for a ridiculous sum through Sotheby's auction house. You can see pictures and read some excerpts thanks to Amazon, and that will have to console you.

And I JUST saw a bootlegged theatrical trailer for The Dark Knight (and no - sadly I'm not re-posting or linking to it here but you can find it at wwtdd.com or movieweb.com until the studio serves them with a cease and desist like they did for YouTube).
Could the unthinkable be possible? Could Heath Ledger really be the quintessential Joker?

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

*Sigh* I'm sitting here a little bored, and a little pissed (long story) as the strains of SpongeBob Squarepants plays behind me. I'm tired. I guess that's all for now...

Where fun goes to die

I've had one of those weeks. I know - I seem to have a lot of those, don't I? I'm not sure why. A function of my tendancy to internalize and personalize things, I suppose. I've been kind of stressed, and some of it is from things I can do something about, but most of it is from events or circumstances completely out of my control. Like I was telling a stranger on a message board the other day - we only have so much control over other people and what they believe and the choices they make. Sometimes you just have to let it go. It's a hard lesson for me to follow, even though it seems like one of the most obvious things. But at least with this latest heartburn-inducing project basically off of my plate, I can settle back into the normal swing of things. Whatever the hell that is.

We've had two resignations in as many weeks. It has some people pretty freaked out, especially when I ominously proclaim that these things come in 3s.

There's a party at work this afternoon. Some people are saying that if management put as much effort into training and working on retention issues as was put into planning this party - with its theme, and prizes, and other miscellaneous pointless & meaningless warm fuzzies - this would be a better place to work and people might want to stay longer than six months to a year (or in some cases, three weeks). I know several people who have said they aren't going to bother attending. Personally, I like free food and the chance to win crappy door prizes, so I'm totally there. Who needs morale - just give me a cheap t-shirt and call it a day.

I'm a little ambivalent about the upcoming holidays. The weather has been reminiscent of summer, I've had little time to finish up my shopping, and I'm just really not in the mood this year. Which sucks, since my son is so excited that he's been asking every day "Is it Christmas today?". He woke up the day after we'd put the tree up expecting there to be presents under it. Sometimes I wish I could get that youthful joy back. But how?

Going to go exchange gifts with M this weekend and eat good food and see a (hopefully) good movie. I need a distraction, so this will be good for me.