"Tell me if this sounds like a phone hanging up..."

I can't believe how my co-worker talks to her parents on the phone. Well, maybe not so much parents plural as her father, but still - I'm pretty sure that if I made demands and used the tone of voice she's using (not to mention pleading poverty and whining about how she works full time and goes to school full time...'scuse me while I adjust my violin to play a mournful dirge for you, Princess) I'd be hearing a dial tone pretty quick. And I don't think that at her age I was calling my parents to help me with every situation and scenario known to man, especially since I didn't live at home any more - and neither does she. And she's hinting around that her boyfriend doesn't make enough money to suit her needs. Wow. It's time for someone to learn to use her big-girl voice and develop some coping mechanisms. In other words...grow up.

I spent this morning massaging data and molding raw figures into usable projections models. It's still not what the administrators want to see, I'm sure. We'd all feel much better not seeing a rolling deficit for the next five years. But I'd like to not skew the data so far to the bright-shiny-everything's-wonderful-nothing-to-see-here side that I'm scrambling to pull justifications out of my rear end when the mother ship is screaming for explanations about why our projections were so far off base from reality - as will ultimately happen. And I still don't quite know what my role is. It's frustrating that I'm kept in the dark about so many decisions being made that affect the bottom line, but the minute someone wants to know where the money is, they're hovering in my doorway with that gleam in their eyes. You can believe I'm useful to them then!

This week's motto: If you torture the data long enough it'll confess to anything you want.
























Bonus motto for the month of July: It's amazing how much easier it is for a team to work together when no one has any idea where they're going.

M - we've got crazy people applying for a job in this office. Lord. Have. Mercy!