Clockwatching

I woke up in the middle of the night with an incredible pain in my right eye. I tried everything I could think of to make it stop (short of hunting down the drug-of-last-resort [Vicodin] in the medicine cabinet), but it's still there. I think I may have ruptured a blood vessel. It's about as attractive as it sounds, trust me. And just as painful, too. Nope. It's official - I have hives. This is awesome. :(

Yesterday during a meeting that I'm subjected to every week the topic of the office hours and everyone's "timliness" was brought up. It would seem that someone has been keeping tabs on whether the doors are open promptly at the time that they believe they should be. My response? I smiled and stated that if this comment was in any way addressing me, said people should bring this up with me directly - and my actual boss as well - and we can talk about the times I'm here beyond the time the office officially closes. Or the times I've eaten at my desk. Or I've worked though lunch completely. Or I've taken work home and not marked it as time worked for earned comp. In short - if people really want to push this particular issue, I'm more than happy to start getting in everyone else's business and nickel and diming the company for every single minute beyond my 9-to-5. And see, it's not just me. The new receptionist has been late a few times (and basically has taken several instances of "personal time" in the middle of the day), and she hasn't even worked here a month yet. The bosses are almost never here right at the start of the workday...and one of them quite often doesn't even make it through a full eight hour day...but they're salaried management, so the rules are different, of course.

The receptionist didn't make coffee yesterday. I guess because the boss wasn't here to see it? She was very surprised when she was asked to go through the process of getting a company credit card - apparently she was under the impression that the boss would never ask her to purchase anything. Yesterday she asked me what she should do to get the food the boss requested for an upcoming meeting. She is his executive assistant, who according to him makes the whole world go 'round and the sun rise and set, yet a simple task like ordering food seems beyond her problem solving skills. Sometimes I'm not sure what reality she's living in. It sure as hell isn't the same one I shuffle through every day and that will slowly and inevitably break my indomitable spirit.

And once again I fixed a problem with the fax machine - this time it was low on toner. Luckily I'd ordered an extra one last time. It is becoming painfully obvious that I seem to be the only one making sure things actually work. Regardless of when I get here and when I leave...

5PM Next Week, on Survivor!: Corporate America...
Desk rat: Oh... We're out of coffee. (pause) I would rather kill everyone in this building than make a new batch.
(everyone turns to stare)
Desk rat: What? I didn't say anything that you weren't all thinking.

Baltimore, Maryland
via Overheard in the Office, Jul 15, 2008