Jul 15, 2008
The daily grind grinds on
I'm back from my mini-cation. It was fun, albeit a little stressful - I'd like to personally thank the folks who founded the lovely community on St. Simons island for granting me the priveledge of getting lost no less than six separate times in the course of the weekend. Roundabouts are the devil's work. And I am the crappiest navigator ever. Details on the trip (and photo goodness per M's request) will follow when I have time this week. Now that the short trip is over, I have the real vacation in October keeping me going. Without that to look forward to I'm not sure I'd make it much longer. Case in point: I had over twenty e-mails when I got back. Four of them were an ongoing conversation about some program that I have had - and will continue to have - no involvement in (they really should learn to pick up the phone around here sometimes - e-mail is such a crutch). Another e-mail was basically laying the responsibility for clarifying a guest's payment options on my lap. Which caused me to call the supervisor of that area and pretty much ask what the eff her employee does all day if so much of his workload gets scuttled around because he's "so swamped". Hey, as the president of that club I should be charging dues. The rest of the messages were problems I need to fix, so I have some catching up to do. Actually, I'd say I have a lot of catching up to do. Not that any of it actually appeals to me or gets me motivated these days...and my boss is out the entire week. That is both a blessing and a curse. We'll see by Friday if it was more one than the other.
Jul 9, 2008
A heart that is distant creates a wilderness 'round it.
I will probably regret creating this post. Come to think of it - I am starting to regret all the deep introspection that has led me decide to post about what's on my mind this morning. But here goes nothing - true confessions time...
Anyone who knows me even a little knows full well that I can sometimes be more than a little...aloof. Some people have said "standoffish", even. I don't make friends easily, but when I do they are inevitably pretty strong bonds, and I keep a very small but close circle of friends, with a larger group of acquaintances drifting in and out. I've lost a number of what I consider real friends over time more often due to physical distance than personal fallings out. As I've gotten older I've worked harder to maintain my friendships than I used to, although I still sometimes get lazy and let people slip away. Things like MySpace and Facebook have made it a little easier to at least keep in touch with anyone I don't see on a regular basis, and have allowed me to make "internet" friends as well, who I can chat with sometimes without the stress of feeling the need to plan and execute get togethers. That being said, those same social networking sites have their own form of etiquette, and sometimes I get a little unsure of how to navigate those slippery slopes. The shuffling of "friends" is one example - sometimes it can be weird to see yourself dropped off of that list of uber-favored people. It is silly - kind of like high school on the internet.
But that brings me to my little dilemma (and subsequently the long, drawn out backstory): I have a "friend" who was a former coworker, who, when we worked together, was one of the people that I was almost always happy to have on my crew (there were exceptions, when he was being a jackass, but those times were pretty few and far between). He was someone who had my back, regardless, and was there when I was having a rough day or I wanted to throttle the supervisor. This happened a lot because television production is high stress and for a period of time I had an abominable troll as a direct supervisor...until he was fired for sexual harassment (of someone who was *thankfully* not me). I returned the favor of the attentions of my coworker by being good enough at my job to allow him not to have to school me in technique or wait for me to fix errors, making his job easier. As time went on and we'd worked together for a while, we often brought each other favorite treats, took breaks at the same time, and exchanged reading material. He was one of the rare exceptions to my harsh and judgemental reactions to people with the kinds of personal flaws I came be aware of in him - I actually came to view these failings and quirks as a sort-of charm. In time - if I'm being completely honest and objective about the situation - it became obvious that I'd developed a little crush. I knew it. Half of my shiftmates apparently also knew it. Of course, most of them just smirked about it and kept their comments to themselves. I was in a very serious relationship at that time (actually, it's the same relationship I'm in now and have been in for...many years), and being a realist, I recognized this crush for what it was: me being a typical girl who needed someone to pander to my own "knight in shining armor" complex - someone who would come to my defense and provide a willing shoulder to cry on. I never knew if my silly crush was reciprocated or if my coworker ever caught on - although towards the end of my time with my former company a couple of people hinted that they figured it was a mutual thing. Maybe he was too polite to say anything, or he just liked the attention.
After I stopped working in television, my coworker and I fell out of touch (there were a variety of reasons - chief of which being the questionable appropriatness - in my mind, anyway - of maintaining the opposite-sex friendship outside of work with someone who I had these odd, confusing feelings for), although I got updates from others who still worked with him from time to time. Eventually, another of my former coworkers convinced me to join MySpace. After a while, I discovered (through someone else's profile) that my old coworker/friend/crush object had joined as well, and added him as a MySpace "friend". At first I tried to send simple greetings and leave comments, but getting responses back was...well, it often didn't happen. After a bit he moved out of state and I kind of stopped trying to keep in contact as much. I'd send a hello around holidays or responses to bulletins every great once in a while, and all was well. But recently I posted a comment in response to something on his profile, which he left up for a couple of weeks. And now it's gone. Everyone else's comments are there. Mine has been deleted. The comment wasn't at all negative, so I'm not really sure what the purpose of deleting it would be. As I said, I can be kind of antisocial and closed off with people and generally try not to be overly sensitive, and I'm not going to take this at all personally...but, shouldn't I, in a way? It does seem a little...insulting. And that stings. Just a little.
The funny thing is that, considering my little stone for a heart, I don't develope crushes or infatuations all that easily (at least, post-high school). In fact, since it has been four years that I've been out of the world of broadcasting with its high emotions and perpetual stress, it has been four years since I've even been in the throes of such a ridiculous emotional situation. It may be my last adult crush, for all I know. Which would actually be just fine by me. Of course, being a human with a fully functioning sensory and central nervous system prone to instinctual response to stimuli, I can't help but have reactions to what I find physically attractive from time to time. In fact, I was talking to someone yesterday who was, in my definition anyway, quite gorgeous (very dark hair and olive complexion and all), and I'm pretty sure I was blushing through the whole conversation. That is not the same as a crush - which to me is more of an emotional attachment and can make you come to see someone as more attractive than you might otherwise at first glance - and I just don't see myself developing that same feeling for a male acquaintance in this phase of my life. For starters, it can be dangerous, especially to real, established relationships. Secondly, I don't really have the time or energy to get to know someone well enough to foster that little bond that leads to crushing like I once did. Plus, I don't work in that kind of highly-charged environment anymore. So the perfect crush-cocktail just doesn't exist for me right now. Kind of sad, but it marks my relentless charge into true adulthood, I guess.
Anyone who knows me even a little knows full well that I can sometimes be more than a little...aloof. Some people have said "standoffish", even. I don't make friends easily, but when I do they are inevitably pretty strong bonds, and I keep a very small but close circle of friends, with a larger group of acquaintances drifting in and out. I've lost a number of what I consider real friends over time more often due to physical distance than personal fallings out. As I've gotten older I've worked harder to maintain my friendships than I used to, although I still sometimes get lazy and let people slip away. Things like MySpace and Facebook have made it a little easier to at least keep in touch with anyone I don't see on a regular basis, and have allowed me to make "internet" friends as well, who I can chat with sometimes without the stress of feeling the need to plan and execute get togethers. That being said, those same social networking sites have their own form of etiquette, and sometimes I get a little unsure of how to navigate those slippery slopes. The shuffling of "friends" is one example - sometimes it can be weird to see yourself dropped off of that list of uber-favored people. It is silly - kind of like high school on the internet.
But that brings me to my little dilemma (and subsequently the long, drawn out backstory): I have a "friend" who was a former coworker, who, when we worked together, was one of the people that I was almost always happy to have on my crew (there were exceptions, when he was being a jackass, but those times were pretty few and far between). He was someone who had my back, regardless, and was there when I was having a rough day or I wanted to throttle the supervisor. This happened a lot because television production is high stress and for a period of time I had an abominable troll as a direct supervisor...until he was fired for sexual harassment (of someone who was *thankfully* not me). I returned the favor of the attentions of my coworker by being good enough at my job to allow him not to have to school me in technique or wait for me to fix errors, making his job easier. As time went on and we'd worked together for a while, we often brought each other favorite treats, took breaks at the same time, and exchanged reading material. He was one of the rare exceptions to my harsh and judgemental reactions to people with the kinds of personal flaws I came be aware of in him - I actually came to view these failings and quirks as a sort-of charm. In time - if I'm being completely honest and objective about the situation - it became obvious that I'd developed a little crush. I knew it. Half of my shiftmates apparently also knew it. Of course, most of them just smirked about it and kept their comments to themselves. I was in a very serious relationship at that time (actually, it's the same relationship I'm in now and have been in for...many years), and being a realist, I recognized this crush for what it was: me being a typical girl who needed someone to pander to my own "knight in shining armor" complex - someone who would come to my defense and provide a willing shoulder to cry on. I never knew if my silly crush was reciprocated or if my coworker ever caught on - although towards the end of my time with my former company a couple of people hinted that they figured it was a mutual thing. Maybe he was too polite to say anything, or he just liked the attention.
After I stopped working in television, my coworker and I fell out of touch (there were a variety of reasons - chief of which being the questionable appropriatness - in my mind, anyway - of maintaining the opposite-sex friendship outside of work with someone who I had these odd, confusing feelings for), although I got updates from others who still worked with him from time to time. Eventually, another of my former coworkers convinced me to join MySpace. After a while, I discovered (through someone else's profile) that my old coworker/friend/crush object had joined as well, and added him as a MySpace "friend". At first I tried to send simple greetings and leave comments, but getting responses back was...well, it often didn't happen. After a bit he moved out of state and I kind of stopped trying to keep in contact as much. I'd send a hello around holidays or responses to bulletins every great once in a while, and all was well. But recently I posted a comment in response to something on his profile, which he left up for a couple of weeks. And now it's gone. Everyone else's comments are there. Mine has been deleted. The comment wasn't at all negative, so I'm not really sure what the purpose of deleting it would be. As I said, I can be kind of antisocial and closed off with people and generally try not to be overly sensitive, and I'm not going to take this at all personally...but, shouldn't I, in a way? It does seem a little...insulting. And that stings. Just a little.
The funny thing is that, considering my little stone for a heart, I don't develope crushes or infatuations all that easily (at least, post-high school). In fact, since it has been four years that I've been out of the world of broadcasting with its high emotions and perpetual stress, it has been four years since I've even been in the throes of such a ridiculous emotional situation. It may be my last adult crush, for all I know. Which would actually be just fine by me. Of course, being a human with a fully functioning sensory and central nervous system prone to instinctual response to stimuli, I can't help but have reactions to what I find physically attractive from time to time. In fact, I was talking to someone yesterday who was, in my definition anyway, quite gorgeous (very dark hair and olive complexion and all), and I'm pretty sure I was blushing through the whole conversation. That is not the same as a crush - which to me is more of an emotional attachment and can make you come to see someone as more attractive than you might otherwise at first glance - and I just don't see myself developing that same feeling for a male acquaintance in this phase of my life. For starters, it can be dangerous, especially to real, established relationships. Secondly, I don't really have the time or energy to get to know someone well enough to foster that little bond that leads to crushing like I once did. Plus, I don't work in that kind of highly-charged environment anymore. So the perfect crush-cocktail just doesn't exist for me right now. Kind of sad, but it marks my relentless charge into true adulthood, I guess.
Jul 7, 2008
Almost time for chaos and the unwashed masses
Attempted post on Wednesday: The mood is very cranky around the ol' jobsite these days. Everyone is very tense and edgy, each for their own personal reasons. The organization has been put on a sort of warning status, and we're at risk of losing a lot of ground in the pursuit of financial and administrative independence. On top of the budget "crisis" that has caused a lot of headaches from the top down (and the bottom up). My boss and I have a meeting scheduled to talk about the upcoming year and reigning in his toadie who he has delegated too much authority to - she's been overstepping her bounds again. Only now she's crapping all over the new receptionist as well, and telling us both what she thinks our jobs are. I've played nice and been very, very patient for a year while the bosses both got settled into their respective roles, but now they know their jobs and I know mine for the most part. If only people would leave me alone and let me get it done...
Attempted post on Thursday: I'm watching some truly awful new show called Fear Itself - I should really be watching the Twilight Zone marathon instead - and reading about how Gary Oldman may have outed that The Riddler may be one of the villains in the next Batman movie (Oh please if it isn't Anthony Michael Hall, let it be Crispin Glover - although Wiki claims that both David Tenant and David Hyde-Pierce have expressed interest...and when are we going to get a fresh villain like, say, Harley Quinn?) and that Christian Bale objects to any possibility to Robin being introduced in the series while he's attached to the franchise. Because Robin drags everything down into a dark vortex of effeminate acrobatics and spandex and ultimate suck. Don't even get me started on how Batgirl makes the Earth reject its axis and causes whole worlds to come to their firey end. Batman works best alone, end of story.
Attempted post on Saturday: On Thursday night my husband and I took my son to meet up with some of our coworkers at a local British-themed pub for fish-n-chips and gossip. The assistant to one of the bosses upstairs invited me and my son out with her and her grandsons the next day. It was a nice way to spend the 4th - we went to a local nature park and walked the boardwalk looking for alligators, then back to my coworkers house for swimming and lunch. Her older grandson and my son had a lot in common and seemed to bond pretty quickly. We'll have to get them together again some time. The fireworks that night were great, even though we didn't go out anywhere - instead we just sat on the front porch and watched the neighbors blow stuff up to celebrate the nation's birthday as mosquitos feasted on our tender flesh. At least this year my son didn't run screaming into the house in terror...
Post for Monday - success...kind of: Oh, the three day weekend. Makes having to come back in to work just that. much. harder. The boss is back. I scheduled the meeting for tomorrow, late in the day - just in case I do something regretable like shout or my telekinesis acts up again and stuff gets broken. (Kidding!) This is a short, but already rather stressy, week. I'm already behind, and our new year *just* started. Nothing like setting a precedent early. I can't tell if I spelled "precedent" correctly because my coworker appropriated my dictionary for her use. My personal dictionary is now sitting on her bookshelf. Right next to the dictionary she already had...
I'm halfway packed for our trip this weekend, and I'll get the confirmations and directions together tonight - my husband is very particular about having that kind of thing ready way ahead of time. I threw away one of my son's magazines (because it was for preschoolers), and now he's a little mad at me. Next time I'll have to make sure he's not still reading something before I get rid of it, I guess.
We're buying a new shed to replace the one we have now which wasn't constructed right and leaks. The new shed will be all fancy and custom built, and will provide the storage we need to keep from having to stuff boxes in the attic or trip over the vacuum. We'll have the rep come by tomorrow and scope out where we want the shed installed, and then as soon as we come back from our trip we'll make the arrangements for the actual installation. All of our landscaping projects hinge on getting the new shed, so this should kick start some industry around my house. As it is I'm feeling like I got trampled by a moose because of the yard work (and the swimming) I did over the weekend. Most of my muscles are so tight I can barely move - I've been shuffling around work like an arthritic penguin all day.
Attempted post on Thursday: I'm watching some truly awful new show called Fear Itself - I should really be watching the Twilight Zone marathon instead - and reading about how Gary Oldman may have outed that The Riddler may be one of the villains in the next Batman movie (Oh please if it isn't Anthony Michael Hall, let it be Crispin Glover - although Wiki claims that both David Tenant and David Hyde-Pierce have expressed interest...and when are we going to get a fresh villain like, say, Harley Quinn?) and that Christian Bale objects to any possibility to Robin being introduced in the series while he's attached to the franchise. Because Robin drags everything down into a dark vortex of effeminate acrobatics and spandex and ultimate suck. Don't even get me started on how Batgirl makes the Earth reject its axis and causes whole worlds to come to their firey end. Batman works best alone, end of story.
Attempted post on Saturday: On Thursday night my husband and I took my son to meet up with some of our coworkers at a local British-themed pub for fish-n-chips and gossip. The assistant to one of the bosses upstairs invited me and my son out with her and her grandsons the next day. It was a nice way to spend the 4th - we went to a local nature park and walked the boardwalk looking for alligators, then back to my coworkers house for swimming and lunch. Her older grandson and my son had a lot in common and seemed to bond pretty quickly. We'll have to get them together again some time. The fireworks that night were great, even though we didn't go out anywhere - instead we just sat on the front porch and watched the neighbors blow stuff up to celebrate the nation's birthday as mosquitos feasted on our tender flesh. At least this year my son didn't run screaming into the house in terror...
Post for Monday - success...kind of: Oh, the three day weekend. Makes having to come back in to work just that. much. harder. The boss is back. I scheduled the meeting for tomorrow, late in the day - just in case I do something regretable like shout or my telekinesis acts up again and stuff gets broken. (Kidding!) This is a short, but already rather stressy, week. I'm already behind, and our new year *just* started. Nothing like setting a precedent early. I can't tell if I spelled "precedent" correctly because my coworker appropriated my dictionary for her use. My personal dictionary is now sitting on her bookshelf. Right next to the dictionary she already had...
I'm halfway packed for our trip this weekend, and I'll get the confirmations and directions together tonight - my husband is very particular about having that kind of thing ready way ahead of time. I threw away one of my son's magazines (because it was for preschoolers), and now he's a little mad at me. Next time I'll have to make sure he's not still reading something before I get rid of it, I guess.
We're buying a new shed to replace the one we have now which wasn't constructed right and leaks. The new shed will be all fancy and custom built, and will provide the storage we need to keep from having to stuff boxes in the attic or trip over the vacuum. We'll have the rep come by tomorrow and scope out where we want the shed installed, and then as soon as we come back from our trip we'll make the arrangements for the actual installation. All of our landscaping projects hinge on getting the new shed, so this should kick start some industry around my house. As it is I'm feeling like I got trampled by a moose because of the yard work (and the swimming) I did over the weekend. Most of my muscles are so tight I can barely move - I've been shuffling around work like an arthritic penguin all day.
Jul 2, 2008
This is relevant to...something.
2PM At Least You Skipped the "Analyst" Part of My Title
Admin: Here's your new door tag.
Advisor: "Stud serv prog coord"? That's my new title?
Admin: Well, it's abbreviated.
Advisor: Can we make the text smaller so it's not abbreviated?
Admin: Why? You don't want to be a stud service?
Advisor: I'm afraid they wouldn't get their money's worth.
Lake Road
Merced, California
Overheard by: sooo true.
via Overheard in the Office, Jun 30, 2008
The above reminds me of people I work with who, like myself, have "specialist" as part of their job title, which is often abbreviated as "spec"...but they pronounce it that way. I have decided that there is something wrong with these people. And as a side note, my new co-worker made me a new sign for the nameplate on my door and inadvertantly gave me a promotion to "analyst".
Also, there is a tropical depression out in the Atlantic. I'm a little concerned that this could interfere with my little vacation coming up next weekend, so it bears keeping an eye on.
Admin: Here's your new door tag.
Advisor: "Stud serv prog coord"? That's my new title?
Admin: Well, it's abbreviated.
Advisor: Can we make the text smaller so it's not abbreviated?
Admin: Why? You don't want to be a stud service?
Advisor: I'm afraid they wouldn't get their money's worth.
Lake Road
Merced, California
Overheard by: sooo true.
via Overheard in the Office, Jun 30, 2008
The above reminds me of people I work with who, like myself, have "specialist" as part of their job title, which is often abbreviated as "spec"...but they pronounce it that way. I have decided that there is something wrong with these people. And as a side note, my new co-worker made me a new sign for the nameplate on my door and inadvertantly gave me a promotion to "analyst".
Also, there is a tropical depression out in the Atlantic. I'm a little concerned that this could interfere with my little vacation coming up next weekend, so it bears keeping an eye on.
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