Arrrrrgh, maybe?

Ahoy, ye scurvy dawgs! Ye be knowin' the significance of the day, aye? If ye not be knowin', may Davey Jones have mercy on yer soul...

A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and the talk turns to their adventures. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg leg, a hook, and an eye patch. "How did you end up with the peg leg?" he asks.The pirate replies, "I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. As my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off.""Wow!" says the seaman. "What about your hook?""Well," answers the pirate, "we were boarding a ship when one of the enemy hacked off my hand.""Incredible!" says the seaman. "How'd you get the eye patch?""A seagull shiat in my eye," the pirate replies."You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the seaman asks."Well," says the pirate, "it was my first day with the hook."

Please feel free to post your best (worst?) pirate jokes in the comments!

America's future is secure

Apparently some time today some pillars of maturity decided to go around chalking boastful claims as to the size of their anatomy on the sidewalks around where I work.

My boss has been despairing over the students in the history class he's teaching this fall. He was grading maps earlier today and expressing his dismay over the fact that most of the young adults he's encountering couldn't even handle elementary-level geography. Of course, I promptly laughed and said I'd have some trouble with labeling the map, too. But I went through the Florida public school system, so I'm lucky I can even spell my own name...

At least it's an ethos

Today, while browsing through The Comics Curmudegeon, I read something that I have decided will be the first thing I ask myself when I get to the punchy-kicky-stabby-bitey level of desk jockey rage (also known as "threat level duck and cover", which is kind of an occupational hazard...I should post signs around the office like they do at the zoo):

"Are there any intervening objects that would impede the trajectory of my fist?”

The state of things

Reported in the news today is that a Vice Presidential nominee will refuse to answer a subpeona and will not particiapte in an ongoing investigation that began well before her nomination, and that the decision has the full support of the party's Presidential nominee who selected her. This is how they show respect for the law now...and this is exactly the level of respect that will be shown to the rule of law once they're in office. So there you have it. In the end we the people may get what we deserve, which is the opposite of what we probably need. A little further down on the website was a goofy poll that asked "Who would win in a McCain/Obama danceoff?". Politics. Such serious business...

Today feels like it should be Thursday. There's talk once again of having a mural painted inside the office. And once again I have to pee all over everyone's misplaced enthusiasm by reminding them that A) there's no money and B) we have other, more vital, things that any available budget would need to be allocated towards. Especially if we're going to be faced with additional budget cuts at the end of the year. People's priorities are so amazingly backward. The boss sets the tone, so I think that sometimes my coworkers get sidetracked by the trivial and lose sight of what is really important.

Event horizon

The LHC gets fired up today!

It is kind of like a giant fancy atomic salad spinner. Or a cosmic cotton candy replicator? The first major particle collisions won't happen until October 28th, so we still have time for wagers on that universe ending massive black hole theory.